There's A Muffin In My Soup
by tastes-like-ciel
Summary: Lelouch decided that he would never make another potion for Suzaku ever again. / "Good girl, Mittens."
1. The Power of Love Compels Me!

Title: There's A Muffin In My Soup

Genre: Humor

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: AU-ish. EuphieLulu, SuzaEuphie, and SuzaLulu. Complete and utter crack. A few curse words. OOCness most surely abounds. xD

Summary: Suzaku couldn't help but think he had stepped into some sort of bizarre parallel universe where his darling princess Euphemia was the evil villain and the genius terrorist Zero was the damsel-in-distress. // "But I just want to show you my love!" "That's too much love!!"

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass…aren't you _so_ glad. xD

Serena: I'm in love with that title. LAWL. This is going to be a collection of what-if crack fics that have been written on a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing. xD This one was pure love and I don't know who I feel sorry for the most: Euphemia, Lelouch, or Suzaku.

-X-X-X-X-  
Code 1: The Power of Love Compels Me!!

By: Serena the Hikari of Love  
-X-X-X-X-

Euphemia giggled and rolled her eyes.

"What are you saying?" she asked, an amused smile playing across her lips. "You're being silly, Lelouch."

"No. I'm serious." Lelouch stated with a smile, his back to her. "If I wanted you to do something, you would have to do it regardless of your own personal feelings."

"Oh, really." Euphemia said, deciding to humor her brother. "How would you make me obey you then?"

"I have a special power that makes anyone I want bend to my will." Lelouch explained. "For instance, if I were to tell you" -he turned around to face her with that smile still on his face, his left eye glowing red- "to rip my clothes off and make me your boyfriend, you would do it no matter what."

Euphemia's eyes widened a bit and she brought a hand to her mouth as she stared at him.

"No, I…I couldn't do that." she mumbled, her lips turning downward as her other hand fisted into her dress. "That would be wrong…I-I can't do that!"

Lelouch blinked, his eyes narrowing slightly in confusion.

"Euphemia, what's wrong?" he asked, watching as she blushed and shook her head. "It was just an exam-oh no."

His pupils dilated as realization hit him.

'_That pain from earlier…_' he realized in horror, a hand wandering to his left eye. '_My Geass…it must have grown out of my control. I'm like Mao was!_'

His flushed as he realized what order he had accidentally given her.

"Forget what I just said!!" he exclaimed, reaching out to grab her shoulders with a panicked look overtaking his features. "I was only kidding!! It wasn't a real command!! I take it back!!"

Euphemia stopped mumbling after a moment and then she tilted her head up at Lelouch and smiled sweetly.

For a moment, Lelouch thought the accidental command had been ignored.

"You're my boyfriend!!" Euphemia exclaimed, throwing her arms around Lelouch's neck and snuggling him.

But then that happened and all hell broke loose.

-X-X-X-

It had been far too long since Euphemia and Zero had left to chat in private and Suzaku was becoming worried.

Which was why he was walking down the hallways, his destination the room his princess and that terrorist were occupying.

He was well aware of the little call button Euphemia held in case Zero tried to do anything, but knowing that did nothing to help ease his worry.

The hallways were quiet, a bit too quiet in his opinion. Perhaps it was simply his paranoia kicking in, but the eerie silence in the hallways seemed ominous to him. He tried to tell himself that it was nothing to worry about, that Euphemia was fine, and that he was worrying over nothing.

Then he heard a scream.

Without bothering to contemplate on how non-Euphemia-like it sounded, he sprinted the remainder of the way to the room. He was about to call the guards when he heard a melodic giggling as well as another shriek.

His eyes narrowed, slight confusion swirling in their emerald depths as he reached the door. He abandoned calling the guards and opened the door.

What he saw made him freeze and wonder briefly if he had entered the right room.

Because he hadn't been expecting the scene he was playing audience to.

Chasing each other around the room as if playing some kind of weird chasing game was his sweet princess Euphemia…and Lelouch…wearing Zero's outfit minus the mask and cape.

Suzaku blinked in bewilderment as Euphemia giggled and made a grab for Lelouch, missing him by a few inches. Lelouch had a blush on his face and was desperately trying to keep himself away from Euphemia.

"E-Euphemia, I'm serious!" he said, running to the opposite end of the room and around a metallic table. "There's no way!!"

Euphemia pouted as she followed after him and placed her hands on the metallic table.

"But I just want to show you my love!" she stated, slowly moving to her left of the table as Lelouch moved to his left.

Lelouch groaned and his blush darkened.

"That's too much love!!" he argued, quickly running around the table as Euphemia darted at him.

"No, it's not!" Euphemia countered, placing a hand on her hip and pumping a fist into the air. "It's what lovers do! We must consummate our love!!"

"WHAT?!" Suzaku exclaimed, staring at the two in utter horror as both their heads snapped to him. "What the hell is going on here?!"

"Suzaku!" they both exclaimed.

"Save me!" Lelouch pleaded, his face adopting a teary-eyed look as he hid behind the table. "Make her stop!"

"Help me!" Euphemia exclaimed, her eyes blazing with passion. "Make him realize our love!"

"What? I don't understand what's going on here!" Suzaku stated. "Lelouch, why is Princess Euphemia chasing you and…why didn't you tell me you were Zero?!"

Lelouch cringed slightly at the harsh tone in Suzaku's voice and his eyes maintained their watery look as he hid himself further behind the table.

Euphemia gasped in horror.

"My love!!" she cried before pointing an accusatory finger at Suzaku. "You made my boyfriend cry!"

"Wha?! B-Boyfriend?!" Suzaku spluttered, a look of disbelief crossing his features. "But he's your brother!!" -then he frowned and appeared to sulk- "…and I thought _I_ was your boyfriend…"

Euphemia blinked and lifted a finger to her chin.

"Oh…that's right." she muttered. "Hmm." -she snapped her fingers as an idea came to her- "I know! Let's share my brother!"

"WHAT?!" Lelouch squeaked, pulling himself up to stare at her in horror.

Suzaku blinked in surprise at Euphemia's suggestion and appeared thoughtful for a moment.

After a moment, he smiled at Euphemia and nodded his head.

"Alright." he agreed, causing a delighted squeal to pass Euphemia's lips. "I'm okay with that."

Lelouch gasped as Euphemia clapped.

"Suzaku, you freaking pervert!!" Lelouch whined. "This isn't fair…"

"Aw, c'mon, Lelouch. It's not that bad." Suzaku stated. "Don't lie and say that time in the hot tub wasn't fun."

Lelouch blushed.

"Y-You said you wouldn't bring that up again!"

Suzaku shrugged.

"I lied."

Euphemia giggled.

"Well, now that that has been taken care of…" -she turned and started floating over to Lelouch- "Let's get those clothes off of you!"

Lelouch shrieked again as Euphemia resumed her chase. Suzaku just shook his head at the sight, but didn't do anything to stop it as he had resigned himself to his fate.

He would be Euphemia's and Lelouch's boyfriend whether he wanted to be or not.

But he made a mental note to stop Euphemia from actually going through with her plans for consummating her love should she manage to catch Lelouch.

Which, at the rate he was running, might happen sometime quite soon.

-X-X-X-X-

Serena: I think I wrote something weird. XD [lolz at half-assed fic]


	2. The Magic of Guilt

Serena: Hey, some people actually reviewed! :D Well, squee. I wasn't expecting any, to be honest. xD Maybe one or two at the most, but ten? Never saw that coming. I was pleasantly surprised. This new one-shot is…doesn't make any sense. xD But that's the great thing about crack…it doesn't have to make any sense at all. :D I've decided to include the one-shot's 'What-if' theme from now on. **By the way, unless otherwise stated, none of the one-shots in this collection go together.** I shall now write a reviewer list!

I would like to thank the following people for reviewing: V, Wynster McG, The Solar Being, teno-hikari, Sparxyu, princesscharming101, Anime-StarWars-fan-Zach, AEDReaper, Immortals -Korami and Namu-, and Diana Prince!

Warnings: AU-ish. More crack! A few curse words. SuzakuxLelouch and KallenxLelouch...if you want to think of it that way. It can be whatever your little heart wants it to be. :D

Summary: The magic of guilt has its way of screwing with people and if there was one thing Suzaku knew, it was that having that magic used against you completely sucked.

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass. If I did, it wouldn't be half as good as it is.

-X-X-X-X-  
Code 2: The Magic of Guilt

Theme: What if Lelouch used a different method to gain Suzaku's support?

By: Serena the Hikari of Love  
-X-X-X-X-

Suzaku's eyes widened in disbelief before narrowing in heartbroken acceptance.

"I didn't…want it to be you." he muttered to the teen standing before him.

Zero.

The infamous terrorist who wielded the unholy power of manipulation called Geass. The same man who had raised an army calling themselves the Black Knights in order to lead a rebellion against the number one world power, Britannia. The same villain who had heartlessly murdered innocent Euphemia and countless others.

This teen before him…was Zero--evil incarnate.

This teen before him…was Lelouch--his best and first friend.

Suzaku had never felt so betrayed--so used--in his entire life.

"It was you. You did all those things." Suzaku muttered, his eyes filling with hate as his grip on his gun's handle tightened. "You murdered all those people…you murdered your own sister!!"

"Yes, I am the man you all know as Zero." Lelouch openly admitted, remaining calm even as blood trickled down his face. "And I suppose that I have murdered many…" -his eyes lowered as he frowned- "…but Euphemia was--"

"You're not even going to try to deny it?!" Suzaku yelled, the gun shaking between his hands. "You don't even care about all the lives you've ruined, do you?!"

Lelouch's eyes narrowed slightly as he continued to frown.

"I--"

"How can _you_ be Zero?!"

Lelouch's attention averted to the red-haired female staring up at him with wide watery eyes.

"You used us!!" she exclaimed, throwing her weapon at the ground in anger. "This whole time!!"

"And because I did, Japan will be freed." Lelouch stated, his lips turning upward into a small smile. "You can't be upset about that. Can you, Kallen?"

Kallen didn't answer and fell to her knees as she stared at the ground.

She was confused. She felt betrayed by this sudden discovery. This whole time…Zero--her idol--was a man she had come to believe didn't care enough about the outside world to bother trying to change anything.

Lelouch was a pompous and arrogant little know-it-all.

But he was right.

And Kallen knew that…she just wasn't ready to admit it yet.

"You even use the people you work with." Suzaku muttered.

He aimed his gun at Lelouch and sneered.

"You lied to me…to everyone! You even lied to Nunnally!!" he shouted.

"I had to! Believe me when I say I never wanted to lie to you or to Nunnally like this, but I had no choice!" Lelouch insisted, sending Suzaku a pleading look. "I never wanted any of you to get involved…and now…they took Nunnally."

Suzaku gasped lightly at the mention of Nunnally being taken and he bit his lip.

"Please, Suzaku!" Lelouch begged. "Call a temporary truce with me! Just…just until Nunnally is safe."

Suzaku felt conflicted. On one hand, he knew that Lelouch was most likely telling the truth about Nunnally's kidnapping. It made sense to him. It fully explained why Lelouch just up and abandoned his troops while they were in the middle of a war with the Britannian forces. On the other hand, he knew he couldn't trust Lelouch anymore…not after this. Not after knowing who Lelouch was.

Suzaku shook his head after a moment, his mind made up.

"I can't trust you, Le-Zero." he stated. "Not after…all this."

Lelouch's eyebrows knit together.

"Suzaku, please!!" he tried again, desperate to save his little sister. "We--"

"No." Suzaku said firmly. "I won't help you. You…Nunnally doesn't need you!! You're nothing but a liar and a murderer!!"

Lelouch flinched at the harsh tone his friend used.

"I-I--"

"You should have never been born!! You're just a mistake!!" Suzaku spat, pure hatred and rage filling his voice. "You don't deserve Nunnally and you don't deserve to live!!"

Kallen stared up at the two boys in shocked silence, her attention straying to Lelouch as Suzaku ranted.

She blinked.

"Um…Suzaku?" she muttered, standing up.

"I should have arrested you when I had the chance!!" Suzaku continued. "I managed to convince myself that you weren't Zero, but I was wrong to have done that!"

Kallen blinked again, her eyes narrowing slightly as a pang of sympathetic guilt penetrated her heart.

"Suzaku." she called again, moving closer to the brunet.

"That was my mistake…but I'm going to--"

"Suzaku!!" Kallen yelled, whacking him on the back of his head with a fist.

"OW!! What?!"

Kallen narrowed her eyes at him and pointed to Lelouch.

"_That's_ what." she deadpanned before huffing. "White Knight my ass."

Suzaku turned his attention to Lelouch…and immediately dropped his weapon at the sight he was met with.

Shaking like a leaf with his amethyst-colored eyes large and watery, stood Lelouch…with an expression that could only be best described as one a puppy would give someone after its feelings were hurt.

The dreaded 'Kicked-Puppy' look.

"I-I'm a mistake? N-No one loves me?" Lelouch asked, the unshed tears in his eyes dangerously close to spilling over.

Both Kallen and Suzaku gasped at the sight.

"I-I never--"

"Don't listen to that traitor!!" Kallen exclaimed, running up to Lelouch with a bright smile plastered onto her face. "I still love you!! Lots of people do!!"

"I never said that!!" Suzaku said defensively.

Kallen turned and sent him a dirty look.

"Maybe not in those exact words…"

She smiled brightly again before turning back to Lelouch.

"Like I said, don't listen to that jerk! His opinion doesn't matter!"

Lelouch sniffled.

"I-It matters to me."

His eyes narrowed and his unshed tears began to spill over and slid down his cheeks.

Kallen grabbed hold of his shoulders, her bright smile morphing into a distressed grimace.

"H-Hey, don't cry! It's okay! It's okay!" she assured her distraught leader. "He didn't mean it!"

Kallen turned her head to glare at Suzaku.

"Right, Suzaku?" she asked darkly.

"Uhm…r-right!" Suzaku agreed, moving to stand by Kallen's side. "I-I didn't mean it!! Lelouch…oh, please don't cry."

He felt like a total ass.

'_I can't believe I made him cry._' Suzaku thought guiltily. '_I know he's done bad things, but…oh, damn it!! I didn't mean to make him cry!!_'

Lelouch sniffled again and futilely swiped at a stream of tears with the sleeve of his outfit.

"B-But you said--"

"I-I know what I said, but…I was just angry! I didn't really mean it!!" Suzaku explained, his distressed expression mirroring Kallen's. "So please don't cry!!"

"Yeah, don't cry, Lelouch!" Kallen said in agreement. "Suzaku is just a big stupid meanie!" -Suzaku sent her a look- "You know how he can be so don't get so down!"

Lelouch didn't look at all convinced and he continued to sniffle.

"Y-You're both lying!" he cried. "He meant every word!!"

The two Knightmare pilots were silent a moment before Kallen turned her head to glare quite fiercely at Suzaku.

"Damn it, Suzaku!" she whispered furiously.

"I'm sorry!" Suzaku whispered back, feeling his guilt increase.

-X-X-X-

"Okay, so we're in agreement?" Kallen asked.

Suzaku sighed before nodding his head.

"Yeah."

"Good." Kallen said, pleased with herself.

She turned a smiling gaze onto her leader.

"You hear that? Mommy and Daddy are going to make everything all better!" she said, ruffling her leader's ebony locks. "While I go and get your little sissy," -she fisted a hand to lightly bonk against Suzaku's head, her smile never faltering- "Suzaku will stay here and keep apologizing to you until you decide to forgive him! Okay?"

Lelouch sighed in a depressed manner before nodding his head slightly.

"Good!"

Kallen stood and began to walk towards the stone double doors, but she paused and turned back to send Suzaku one last dirty look.

"I think you know what'll happen if you do anything else to upset him before I get back." she said darkly, cracking her knuckles threateningly.

Suzaku gulped.

"Uh…yeah. Don't worry."

Kallen brightened back up and turned on her heel to walk through the doors.

Suzaku sighed and turned his attention back to his depressed…friend? Enemy? Hell, he didn't know any more.

"Listen, Lelouch, I'm sorry." he repeated. "I was just mad and…ah, I really don't know what to say."

Lelouch sighed again and his eyes began to shimmer with wetness.

Suzaku's eyes widened at this.

"Oh no." he muttered. "Ah, please don't cry! I'm sorry! I really am!!"

He tried to think of something, anything, that would please Lelouch.

"Um…hey! You want a hug?" he offered. "It'll make you feel better!"

Lelouch shook his head and his lips started quivering.

"Um…you want to drive the Lancelot?" he offered, holding out the key to the teen. "It's fun! I'll even let you shoot at people!"

He was getting rather desperate at this point. Heck, if playing with the Lancelot would cheer the heartbroken Britannain up, then why not?

Lelouch shook his head again and his eyes started to narrow.

Suzaku panicked. He really did not want Lelouch to start crying again because it really made him feel like a total jackass, but what could he do?

He snapped his fingers as an idea came to him.

"You want to shoot at the Emperor?" he asked.

Lelouch sniffled once before slowly nodding his head.

Suzaku sighed in relief before he smiled pleasantly.

"Okay." he said, taking hold of Lelouch's hand and making him stand up. "Let's go shoot at the Emperor."

-X-X-X-

Suzaku groaned as he watched the major headline of the news play.

"Officials state that the mysterious shooting that has wounded His Majesty Emperor Charles zi Britannia is still under investigation. The guards who were protecting His Majesty were arrested under suspicion of terrorism. Officials are still baffled by His Majesty's guards strange dancing and defacing of the palace's walls. It is believed tha--"

Suzaku turned his head away from the T.V. to stare at the ridiculously happy person seated beside him.

"Looks like you're happy." he stated, his head propped up on one hand.

Lelouch just continued to smile and took a sip of hot tea from his tea cup. Seated on his other side, Nunnally tilted her head and frowned slightly.

"Why _are_ you so happy, Oniisama?" she asked. "After everything that happened yesterday…"

Lelouch turned his smiling gaze onto her and reached out a hand to ruffle her hair.

"I'm just glad to have you and Suzaku back safely." he chirped.

Nunnally smiled at the answer.

"Oh, yes. I feel the same." she said cheerfully.

Sulking, Suzaku sighed at the two happy siblings.

"What the hell did I get myself into?" he mumbled to himself, taking a sip of his tea and blatantly ignoring the news woman as best he could.

-X-X-X-X-

Serena: XD I hope you guys are enjoying this epic fail of a one-shot collection as much as I am. :D Please review and maybe give me a suggestion or two for a one-shot. ^^ Here are some examples of suggestions you can make:

Example 1: Human!Arthur hogging Girl!Lelouch all to himself while Jealous!Suzaku tries to steal Lelouch's attention.

Example 2: Q&A session (or something) with some of the cast members in the form of the Lucky Channel off of Lucky Star.

Example 3: RPG-style adventure with the Black Knights.

Example 4: Lelouch gets his very own fairy godparents. (e.g. Cosmo and Wanda. :D)

You know, just random crack-filled suggestions. And before you ask, yes. I _did_ just pull all those suggestions out of thin air. :D I might actually use some of them,--that first one and last one sound like fun--but anyway…please don't forget to review!! ^^ Oh and **Happy July 10th everyone!!!! ^^**


	3. Filler for the Lulz

Serena: I decided on doing Number 4 on my idea list back on Code 2, but it's taking a bit longer to write than I thought it would. I've already written about five pages and it's not even halfway done yet. o_0 So, just for the heck of it, I decided to write what I shall call a "filler chapter" and post it. Really, there's no point in calling it that as this collection doesn't follow a plot of any kind. But this is crack…so if I want to call it a "filler chapter", than guess what? :D

I would like to thank the following people for reviewing: Neo Diji, Jesi -the immortal werecat-, The Solar Being, 2stupid, S Eve, Infidel Pumpkin, Minute-Maid511, Anime-StarWars-fan-zach, mochiusagi, c.c., Diana Prince, and LookingForMeaning!

Warnings: AU. Randomness and SuzaLulu. :D Mpreg and a little RoloxLelouch…if you squint.

Summary: Mini stories make everyone feel a little less dead inside and if a fan girl's head just so happens to randomly explode…well…that's even better.

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass. I don't own the Spongebob story. I don't own the Lucky Channel from Lucky Star. You know what? I don't own…anything. Mmkay?

-X-X-X-X-  
Title: There's A Muffin In My Soup

Code 3: A Filler is the Creator's Way of Saying: LOL

Theme: What if the authoress' head exploded? :D

By: Serena the Hikari of Love  
-X-X-X-X-

The Origin of the Title

Suzaku tapped the end of his chin in thought.

"Okay, I get that you were bored and wanted to write…." he said, eyes narrowing in confusion. "…but _where_ did the title come from?"

A girl with long blonde hair adjusted the black rimmed glasses placed over her green eyes as she smiled from her cross-legged position on the desk.

"That's very simple, Suzie-kun!" she said, making Suzaku cringe and blush out of embarrassment.

_Why_ was he given such a ridiculous nickname?

"By all means, explain." Lelouch politely demanded, staring at the girl expectantly.

"Certainly!" she said, bringing a smoke pipe filled with bubble soap to her lips. "It's elementary, my dear Lulu!"

Where had she been keeping that?

"I'll explain it to you both and then you'll understand." she continued before exclaiming: "Story time!!"

She moved out of her cross-legged position and let her legs dangle off the desk as she cleared her throat.

It should be noted--or perhaps not--that the pipe had mysteriously disappeared.

"Alright. Once upon a time," she began, adopting the 'scary-story' tone of voice. "there was a really ugly barnacle. And it was _so _ugly, that everyone died. The end!"

Suzaku and Lelouch blinked.

"What did that have to do with _anything_?" Lelouch asked.

"Absolutely nothing." she said, crossing one leg over the other as the pipe mysteriously appeared again.

"So the title…" Suzaku muttered, trailing off as he shared a look with Lelouch.

The world may never know, obviously.

Geass Channel

A colorful sign with kanji spelling out the words "Geass Channel" was thrust before a camera.

"So then I turned back around and there was a muffin floating in my soup!"

"A _muffin_?"

A huff of annoyance.

"Yeah. A muffin!"

The sign was removed after a moment to reveal two teenage boys sitting behind a long desk. Both were dressed in matching black school uniforms and both seemed oblivious to the fact that the cameraman was waving at them.

Lelouch blinked at the information.

"How did a muffin get in your soup?" he asked, bewildered by the randomness of it.

A frustrated expression spread across Suzaku's face as he shrugged hopelessly.

"I don't know." he whined. "But after I saw it, I lost my appetite and left."

"Hey!" the camera man whispered loudly, frantically waving an arm at the two of them.

Lelouch turned his head slightly to address the other man when he saw the camera's light lit up.

"Oh! Suzaku! We're on the air!" he silently shouted, a nervous smile spreading across his face as he shifted his attention to the camera.

Suzaku blinked as he took notice of the camera light and he promptly straightened up, sending a matching smile to the camera.

Upbeat music began to play.

"Hey there, viewers!" Lelouch greeted as Suzaku sent a small wave towards the camera. "This is your host Lelouch vi Britannia speaking."

"And I'm his co-host, Suzaku Kururugi!" Suzaku chimed in. "Welcome to our first ever episode of Geass Channel!"

Lelouch sighed.

"As if there isn't enough Geass-related things in the world." he muttered, eyes straying off to the side.

"Just go with it, Lelouch." Suzaku muttered, briefly glancing at the other male before his attention was once again focused on the camera. "To kick off our first ever episode, Lelouch is going to sing for us!"

"No. Lelouch isn't." Lelouch firmly stated, glaring at his co-host.

He didn't care that the director wanted him to and he didn't care that maybe everyone else wanted him to as well. He wasn't going to do it.

Suzaku pouted, his head turning in Lelouch's direction.

"Aw. Come on, Lelouch." he whined. "Just do it. It won't kill you to act a little moe just this once."

Lelouch continued to glare at Suzaku, propping his head up on one hand.

"It might."

Suzaku huffed.

"Right. I forgot." he muttered. "You don't know _how_ to be moe."

Lelouch scoffed and his lips formed a tight line.

"I can act moe whenever I feel like it." he stated, to which Suzaku laughed.

"Riiiiight."

"I can!" Lelouch insisted.

Suzaku raised an eyebrow at him.

"Prove it then." he said. "Next episode, you have to act moe for the entire time we're on air!"

"What?!"

Suzaku sighed and gave a small shrug.

"But if you can't do it--"

"I can." Lelouch insisted, nodding his head once and sighing. "I'll do it."

Suzaku grinned. He was looking forward to seeing this.

The frown that had been taking up residence on Lelouch's face suddenly disappeared and was replaced by an innocent smile.

Suzaku blinked and a small shiver went up his spine.

Why did he not like that seemingly innocent smile?

Something about it said that he was walking into a trap.

"If I succeed," Lelouch began, that smile of his not faltering. "you have to agree to become my slave for a whole week and if I don't…"

Lelouch giggled and he sent Suzaku a wink.

"I'll do _whatever_ you want me to do for an _entire_ week." he finished, his voice carrying just the slightest hint of seduction. "And I do mean '_anything'_."

"Uhm…o-okay?" Suzaku hesitantly agreed, a light blush flittering across his cheeks.

He _really_ did not like that seemingly innocent smile his friend was wearing.

And that giggle…not only was it moe, but it sounded evil.

Dear God, what had he just started?

And why did he get the feeling he had already lost their little bet?

Upbeat music began to play and Lelouch turned that innocent smile towards the camera.

"Oh no!! Looks like we're all out of time!!" he exclaimed, his eyes shimmering innocently as he pouted in disappointment. "Boo! Boo! I was having fun, too!"

Suzaku could only stare at the other male with his mouth hanging open.

Well, damn.

Lelouch really _had _caught him in a trap.

"Looks like you guys will just have to wait until next time before you can see more of me and my cutie-cute little co-host!" Lelouch explained, emitting a tiny little disappointed groan. "Oh well. Make sure to send us plenty of letters to tell us what you think of the show!"

Lelouch's fingers formed a sign and he waved them around in the air.

"Bye niii!!!" he said.

Suzaku raised one of his hands and mimicked Lelouch's sign and action.

"B-Bye ni…"

That same colorful sign from earlier was thrust in front of the camera's view.

"So how was that, future slave?" Lelouch asked, a smirk in his voice.

Suzaku groaned.

"…a little _too_ good." he admitted. "You know, you should cut back on that. It's a little creepy when you act that way."

Lelouch hmphed.

"That's not what you said last time."

"…"

"You said that you _loved_ it." Lelouch continued.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Don't play dumb…even if it is cute." Lelouch said, that seductive tone returning. "Remember? It was your birthday. The cat outfit, the meowing, I called you Suzaku-tan--"

"S-SHUT UP!!!"

I Think I'm Pregnant

"Suzaku?" Lelouch called, his hands fidgeting with his uniform jacket as he stood in the doorway of the council room.

Suzaku glanced up from his position on the floor with Arthur and smiled at Lelouch.

"Hey, Lelouch." Suzaku greeted, his eyebrows knitting together in concern as he saw Lelouch's nervous expression. "What's wrong?"

Lelouch opened his mouth to answer him, but he paused and closed it.

Suzaku noted that the violet-eyed boy's fidgeting seemed to increase.

He stood and made his way over to Lelouch.

"Hey, what's is it?" he asked, pulling the other boy into a gentle hug. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

A blush crossed Lelouch's cheeks at the contact.

"I-I…um…w-well…"

Suzaku's concern increased at the boy's stuttering.

Lelouch was not the type to stutter unless their was trouble or he was being teased.

And Suzaku was not teasing him at the moment.

He pulled the other over to the council room's long table and made him sit down. He plopped himself down in a chair right next to Lelouch.

Lelouch's fidgeting seemed to become worse.

"It's okay, Lelouch." he said soothingly, his hands reaching out to take hold of one of Lelouch's. "Just tell me. Whatever it is, we'll see it through together."

Lelouch was having great difficulty in looking up at the brunet.

He sighed.

It was now or never, he supposed.

Gathering up what little courage he had, he turned his head upward to face Suzaku and he cleared his throat.

"I-I…I'm…uh…"

Darn it. He should just blurt it out already.

"IthinkI'mpregant!!" he exclaimed all at once.

There. He said it.

Suzaku blinked.

"What? Could you speak a little slower please?"

…damn. Now he had to say it again.

"I…I think that I'm…pr-pregnant."

Suzaku was silent for a very long time.

But after what seemed like forever, he smiled and chuckled.

"Really? That's great, Lelouch!"

Lelouch blinked, surprised by Suzaku's acceptance of the news.

"R-Really?"

Suzaku leaned over and planted a kiss on Lelouch's lips.

"Of course, silly." he said, happy that the Lelouch's news wasn't bad.

He was ecstatic.

Just imagine…he would be a dad. That was wonderful news!

Despite his happiness, Lelouch still maintained a nervous look…like there was something else he had to tell him.

"I'm glad that you're happy about it and I am too…but…there's more." he stated, a frown marring his delicate features.

"More?" Suzaku asked. "What?"

Lelouch took a deep breath before he turned his head away.

"I'm pregnant…and I think Zero is the father."

It should be noted that the entirety of the Black Knights had been wiped out by a single Knightmare unit later that evening and the leader of said group had been viciously tortured before being turned in to the Emperor.

Also, nine months later, Lelouch and Suzaku became the proud parents of a beautiful baby girl…who was _not_ related to a certain terrorist in any way, shape, or form.

At least, that's what a certain Japanese boy maintained. His love simply nodded his head and went along with it, after all.

The Reason Why They're Group Was So Small

His eyes stared intently at the scene before him. He watched as the lithe figure ever so slowly unbuttoned the buttons to their shirt.

He could feel his pants tightening.

"_Oh, yeah~_"

The lithe figure slowly slide their thin arms out of the shirt's long sleeves. Beautifully pale milky white skin was exposed.

"_Yeah, baby. Take it off~_"

The figure complied and the shirt was gone. Their delicate fingers slide down to take hold of the hem of their pants, slowly moving to the buttons that rested there.

SHLINK.

The man fell out of his chair, fresh blood pumping out of the hole in his neck.

Blood glistened on the knife that the murderer was holding as he moved over to switch the live camera feed off.

-X-X-X-

Viletta glared.

"What part of _teamwork_ do you not understand?" she demanded.

Rolo shrugged.

"We didn't need him anyway." he stated simply. "And what makes you think _I_ did it?"

"The knife you're carrying has blood dripping off of it."

"…we didn't need him anyway." Rolo repeated. "He was worthless and did nothing of value to us."

That was the exact same answer he always gave whenever a fellow agent was mysteriously killed.

And Viletta learned quite fast that "Rolo" and "teamwork" did not belong in the same sentence.

And she also learned that leaving Rolo with recorded footage of their target was bad.

Because it turned up mysteriously burned for one reason or another.

-X-X-X-X-

Serena: xD lol Fillers are fun. Review plz? :D


	4. Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Fluffy

Serena: Here's a little crack story to keep you guys entertained until I finish the one I said I was going to do. (Technically, I'm going to do all of them…but moving on…) Anyway, I must say, Suzaku is fun to mess with. xD He's just _so_ lovable even when he's being a jerk. [glomp attacks Suzaku] And, in a way, this fic is kinda my revenge against him for refusing to crack a smile throughout R2. Seriously, his lack of joy made me sad. At first I was all, "Well, he lost his princess and his prince…so I guess I can understand how he feels." Then, as R2 progressed, I was like, "Suzaku, I get why you're being all emo, but it's really starting to bum me out. Smile damn it!!" I swear, that boy needs to be tickled until he cries.

I would like to thank the following people for reviewing: mochiusagi, Anime-StarWars-fan-Zach, Jesi -the immortal warecat-, The Solar Being, Diana Prince, Sparxyu, Infidel Pumpkin, LookingForMeaning, lilyrose225, lulufan15678249, Tainted Ink And Paper, XwhiteXspiritXalchemistX, Electric Eclectic, and radarsada!

Warnings: AU. Light SuzaLulu. Very short little one-shot, but I love it. x3 One curse word~

Summary: There was a reason Suzaku never wore the hood to his Knight of Zero cloak.

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

-X-X-X-X-  
Title: There's A Muffin In My Soup

Code 4: Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Fluffy

Theme: What if there was a reason Suzaku never wore his hood?

By: Serena the Hikari of Love  
-X-X-X-X-

When Suzaku first layed his eyes upon the Knight of Zero outfit that Lelouch had spent hours and hours sewing together, he stared.

And stared.

And received a well-placed bite to his ankle for dropping poor Arthur out of shock.

And then, of course, he felt guilty after seeing the downtrodden look upon his emperor's face. (He really hated that Lelouch had mastered such a cute little facial expression. The teenage emperor had used it on him _way_ too much and it was just _so_ unfair!)

Assaulted with the image of that pouty expression, Suzaku had consented to wearing the flamboyant--and skintight--monstrosity. (Sometimes Suzaku wondered if Lelouch just kept him around as eye candy.)

And after squeezing into the suit and throwing the cape around shoulders, he had returned to his liege's side to await the fashion verdict.

Lelouch had frowned.

"Put your hood on." he had ordered.

Suzaku had resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the slightly whiny tone and had obeyed.

Then Lelouch had stared.

And stared.

Suzaku had stared back, a bit confused by Lelouch's expression.

The teen's lips had been twitching and his violet eyes had been shimmering with a strong emotion that Suzaku was a bit unsure about.

Suddenly, a giggle unfitting of one who would be referred to in history books as the "Demon Emperor" had spilled out of Lelouch's mouth. That giggle was followed by another and another until the dark-haired ruler was laughing hysterically.

Needless to say, it had _not_ been the reaction that Suzaku had been expecting.

But after glancing into a nearby mirror, Suzaku had discovered the reason behind Lelouch's sudden laughter.

He looked like a plushie.

A very huggable and adorable life-sized plushie.

"Lelouch, what the hell??!!"

Had been his reaction to the outfit.

Unable to remain on his own two legs, Lelouch had collapsed against the side of his large bed and had laughed harder.

And that happened every time Suzaku wore the cloak's hood.

The knight had to maintain a fierce reputation or else no one would take either of them seriously; therefore, it was decided amongst the two of them that Suzaku could not wear the hood in public. (C.C. had not cared either way and had left the two of them to bicker. Lelouch had actually argued in favor of the hood, but Suzaku had thrown logic at the emperor and Lelouch had reluctantly given in. After all, how could he give his perfectly practiced speeches in that regal tone of his if he was giggling at Suzaku's appearance?)

Still, Lelouch managed to convince the knight--through use of that pouty look--to wear the hood in private a few times. As expected, he had collapsed into a fit of giggles each time, but Suzaku had not minded then.

Because it gave him the chance to see his friend smile and hear his contagious laughter many times before the fated day of the Zero Requiem.

-X-X-X-X-

Serena: Seriously, have any of you ever seen Suzaku wearing the hood? HE'S SO FRIGGIN ADORABLE!!!! When you see him, you just want to hug him and hug him and squee at his cuteness!! x3 Anyway, if you can, please leave me a review. :D


	5. When Fillers Attack

Serena: You were all probably expecting an actual story this time…well…to make a long story short, I'm lazy. x3

Lelouch: …you're not even going to try to lie, are you.

Serena: Nope.

I would like to thank the following people for reviewing: Spunkay Skunk, LookingForMeaning, Fallen One-Winged Tenshi, Tainted Ink And Paper, The Solar Being, radarsada, Yamiro, Diana Prince, mochiusagi, Infidel Pumpkin, lilyrose225, and Izka!

Warnings: AU. More randomness~! Vague mentions of SuzakuxEuphemia, LelouchxC.C., SuzakuxLelouch, and KiriharaxLelouch! (Note: Kirihara is just being a pervert.)

Summary: Because fillers have a funny way of sneaking up on you while you're safely tucked away in bed.

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

-X-X-X-X-  
Title: There's A Muffin In My Soup

Code 5: When Fillers Attack

Theme: What if the fillers started attacking?! D:

By: Serena the Hikari of Love  
-X-X-X-X-

Gravity Defying…Boobs?

"Hey, Euphie?" Lelouch questioned.

Euphemia snuggled into the warmth of Lelouch's Zero cape and sighed contentedly. She smiled. Lelouch's cape smelled nice, like the lovely fragrance of lavendar.

"Yes?"

Lelouch was silent a moment as a pinkish hue dusted his cheeks.

"Well…" he hesitantly muttered at last. "…uh…never mind."

Euphemia blinked and turned her head slightly in an attempt to catch sight of her brother. He had busied himself with laying out her wet clothes and she could hear him moving around on the other side of the large rock she was leaning against.

"What is it?" she asked, a flicker of concern crossing her delicate features.

She heard Lelouch clear his throat.

"Um…I was just wondering…"

He sounded embarrassed for some reason, but Euphemia couldn't imagine why.

"…do you always walk around without wearing a bra?"

That last part had come out sounding a bit strained and Euphemia suddenly understood why her brother had sounded so hesitant.

A light blush dusted her cheeks and she giggled nervously.

"…well…yes." she answered.

It was eerily quiet on Lelouch's side.

"I find that I don't need one." she continued, briefly glancing down at the topic of their discussion. "They just…hold themselves up."

It was a rather odd conversation to be having with her brother of all people, but Euphemia supposed that her brother's question had been inevitable. (She had handed over _all_ her soaked garments after all and Lelouch would have noticed the lack of a specific undergarment that she had _not_ taken off--because she didn't have one on to begin with.)

Some people had gravity defying capes and others had gravity defying hair.

Euphemia…well, she was special.

"Stay away from Suzaku." Lelouch muttered after a moment of awkward silence had passed between them.

Euphemia just giggled.

F.L.E.I.J.A. Was Just A Cover-Up

Lelouch was roughly pushed against the hard concrete and he winced as his cheek ground against the concrete's grainy surface. He could feel warm liquid seeping under his injured cheek and he could feel a steady throbbing pain reverberating throughout his bound arms.

"Associating with Elevens, Lamperouge?"

Lelouch grunted in pain as a swift kick was aimed at his ribs.

It was times like these when his Geass really came in handy, but with his eyes blinded by a blindfold, the power was useless.

"And not just associating…but letting one screw you, too."

It was no secret--thanks to a certain blonde president--that Lelouch and Suzaku--the "Eleven" in this one-sided conversation--were dating each other. They had only pleasured each other once and that interaction remained a secret between the two of them. These Britannian bullies only assumed that they had done so in order to mock him.

Another swift kick was aimed at his side and Lelouch had to bite his tongue to hold back a cry of pain.

It felt like he had a broken rib or two.

The gang of misfits surrounding him laughed amongst themselves and the leader leaned down to twist his fingers into Lelouch's hair.

"You're a pathetic excuse for a Britannian." he said as he yanked Lelouch's head up. "Where did your pride and morality go when you let that filthy Eleven touch you?"

Lelouch remained silent. He would not waste words on these delinquents and he had the thought that if he remained quiet, these students would tire of him and leave.

"Got no response? You really are pathetic."

The bully let go of his hair and Lelouch could not hold back the small gasp of pain as his head collided with the concrete.

"Hey!! Leave him alone!!" a voice suddenly shouted.

Lelouch's eyes widened behind his blindfold.

'_Suzaku?!_'

"Crap, let's get out of here!" someone muttered.

Lelouch heard a series of hurried footsteps attempt to distance themselves from him.

He jumped slightly as a hand touched his shoulder.

"It's alright! It's me."

Lelouch allowed himself to relax as he heard the soothing voice of his friend next to him. He felt hands gently untie the bonds holding his arms together and a hiss of pain escaped him.

"I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?!" Suzaku asked.

"No." Lelouch responded, flexing his fingers as blood rushed to them. "The rope was just so tight before…"

"I see."

The blindfold around his eyes suddenly slipped and fluttered to the ground.

Lelouch blinked a couple of times before his gaze was averted to Suzaku's worried face.

"Your cheek…" Suzaku murmured, a hand hovering over the injured skin.

"It's just a scratch." Lelouch insisted, a hand moving to push Suzaku's away.

"No. It isn't." Suzaku insisted. "You need medical attention. Who knows what el--Lelouch?!"

Suzaku quickly darted out to catch Lelouch as the Britannian slumped over with a hand clutching the side of his head.

"My head…" Lelouch groaned, curling up against Suzaku's chest as a terrible headache assaulted his senses. "It hurts."

-X-X-X-

A sudden fit of giggles filled the empty dorm room as a green-haired girl sat at her desk with a silly grin on her face. The girl set her pen down for a moment and adjusted her glasses as she stared at her laptop's screen.

"Ooohhh~! Next, Suzaku should take Lelouch back to his room and bandage him up!" she said through another fit of giggles. "And then, after Lelouch wakes up, this and that can happen. Then comes the _naughty_ part~."

She giggled to herself once more before she picked up her pen and continued to draw amazingly accurate and lovely drawings of her fellow classmates onto her tablet.

A sudden knocking at her door disturbed her from her work.

"Nina!" a voice called. "Madam President needs to see you in the council room ASAP!"

Nina whipped around in her seat and internally groaned.

'_But I haven't reached the best part yet!!_' she whined. '_Go away, Shirley!!_'

Shirley knocked at her door again.

"Come on, Nina! Are you in there? Milly's waiting and I don't think Lulu will willingly stay in that dress for very long."

Nina perked up at that.

"He's in a dress?!" she whispered excitedly to herself. "This is perfect!! And if Suzaku is there…!!"

Nina quickly saved her work and flicked her laptop off.

"I'm coming!!"

Milly often worried that Nina spent far too much time in front of a computer screen. If only she knew just how justified her worries were.

Geass Channel: Episode 2

A colorful sign with kanji spelling out the words "Geass Channel" was thrust before a camera.

Upbeat music began to play.

The sign was removed to show two teenagers sitting behind a long desk. One of them had wavy mahogany locks of hair and had lovely emerald-colored eyes. He wore a black uniform trimmed in gold and was openly staring in shocked silence at the person seated next to him.

The boy (?) seated next to him had silky ebony hair that was pinned up into two tiny pigtails. He wore a light blue and white sailor fuku outfit that had abnormally long sleeves.

"Hiya, viewers!!" Lelouch shouted, smiling brightly as he waved his sleeve covered hands in the air. "Welcome to another super special episode of Geass Channel!!! I'm your extra adorable host, Lelouch vi Britannia!!"

Lelouch formed an acute triangle with his arms and pointed them Suzaku's way.

"And this is my super cutie-cute co-host, Suzaku Kururugi!!" he added.

Suzaku continued to stare at Lelouch, completely ignoring the fact that the show had started.

He absolutely could _not_ believe that Lelouch had actually gone through with it. The Britannian _actually_ intended to act moe for the entire show.

Suzaku slowly blinked as a little voice in the back of his head shouted at him.

'_Why the hell didn't you bring your camera???!!_'

In all honesty, he never believed that Lelouch would go through with it…still…he couldn't help but agree with the voice.

This was a once-in-a-lifetime photo opportunity and he was _missing_ it!!!

Lelouch giggled sweetly at Suzaku's expression.

"Oh no! Looks like Suzaku isn't paying attention!!" Lelouch said, a sleeve-covered hand covering his mouth and as he pouted. "Oh, what to do? Hmm."

Lelouch brightened as an idea came to him. He leaned over and lightly bonked Suzaku on his head.

"Ow."

"Suzaku~!" Lelouch sang, before his bright eyes darkened and narrowed into slits.

His voice took on a venomous tone as he continued in a low voice with his teeth clenched.

"Call this bet off or I swear to God that I'll shoot myself in front of the camera!"

Suzaku blinked.

"What?" he asked loudly.

He received another bonk to the head…only it was harder this time.

"Call. The. Damn. Bet. Off. NOW." he demanded, bonking Suzaku on top of his head as he said each word. "I cannot handle acting this way any longer. Please…end the bet before I kill myself. Immediately!"

Suzaku blinked again as his mind caught up with the current situation.

Then he smirked and wrapped an arm around Lelouch's shoulders.

"What's that?" he asked loudly. "You want to sing for us?"

Lelouch blinked and his eyes widened.

"What?" he asked, eyes narrowing to glare at Suzaku. "I never--Mmph!!"

He was abruptly cut off as Suzaku clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Awww~!" Suzaku cooed, the arm around Lelouch's shoulders pulling the younger closer. "Isn't that so sweet of you!! Of course you can sing for us!! Are you going to wear that cute outfit you have on?"

"MMPH!!!MMPH!!!" was Lelouch's reply, his arms failing around.

"Ooohhh~!!! That's perfect!!" Suzaku exclaimed.

Upbeat music began to play.

Suzaku blinked.

"Uh-oh. Looks like we're out of time today!!" he said, ignoring the multiple hits that Lelouch's sleeve-covered fists sent him. "Guess we'll see you guys next time!"

He removed the hand covering Lelouch's mouth and formed a sign to wave in the air.

"Bye-nii!!"

"YOU SON-OF-A-BI--"

That same colorful sign from earlier was thrust before the camera's screen loudly, cutting off Lelouch's curse.

The sound of rustling fabric could be heard followed by Suzaku's tsk tsking.

"Na-unh!! You need to watch your language, Lelouch." the brunet chided, a grin in his voice.

"Let go of me, you assh--Eeekk!! Suzaku, don't tickle me!! That's not fair!!"

"You're the one who wouldn't watch his language~! So I'm distracting you~!"

Lelouch's giggles could be heard throughout the studio.

"Stop it!!! Let me go!!!"

Best Buddies (Idea from S Eve)

Tamaki Shinichiro could say with utmost certainty that he was best buddies with Zero, the infamous leader of the Black Knights. After all, why would someone as important and amazing as Zero trust him with the important position of being in charge of the organization's finances? (Although, he had been warned by other members that if he did not stop wasting their money on frivolous dinners and whatnot that Zero would demote him to the "Cleaning Squad".)

Despite Zero not seeming to be as enthusiastic about their close friendship as he was, Tamaki attributed that to the masked man having other things on his mind. (Perhaps he was having relationship problems with that green-haired woman? In that case, he should have a chat with Zero and help him out!)

But first…he needed to finish figuring out how to fix the hole he had accidentally torn into Kallen's jacket. (She threatened to skin him if he didn't fix the damage he had caused and Kallen was just mean enough to do something like that.)

So here he was, scratching his head over a table of needles and thread--as well as "How To Sew" print outs from helpful websites he had looked up. (Thank God for Google! Honestly, where would the world be without it?)

Progress with fixing Kallen's jacket: 0 percent.

He had been here for hours, reading and rereading the print outs. So far, he had pricked the same finger _multiple_ times and he had suffered through dizzy spells due to going cross-eyed while trying to thread his needle. (He had yet to get that damn needle threaded and whatever genius had first thought of the idea must have gone blind from the countless cross-eyed staring contests with their needle.)

"Augh!! I give up!!" he exclaimed, conceding his victory to the needle. "Screw this! Kallen can fix it herself!"

He tried to ignore the mental image that assaulted his mind when he thought of how Kallen was going to react.

But he failed and he groaned.

Kallen was going to kill him.

Reluctantly, he found himself returning to that damnable needle and resumed trying to thread it.

Two hours later, Tamaki's progress with Kallen's jacket was as follows: 0 percent.

'_I'm too young to be murdered by a school girl._' he whimpered.

The whole situation was just unfair.

But perhaps his "0 percent" progress with Kallen's jacket wasn't a bad thing. In fact, "0" seemed to be Tamaki's lucky number for the day.

"I'm almost afraid to ask why that desk is littered with sewing supplies."

Tamaki jumped at the sudden voice. (The door had slid open, but he had failed to hear it due to his concentration on that stupid needle.)

"Z-Zero?!" he exclaimed, instantaneously releasing the needle and thread that he had been holding.

'_Oh, man! He's going to think that I'm some girly guy!!_' he wailed.

He was mortified. Of all the people that could have walked in on him, it just _had _to be Zero, didn't it?! Oh, what his best buddy was thinking right at this moment…

Had Tamaki had the ability to read minds, then he would have heard _exactly_ what Zero was thinking and it was far from what Tamaki thought it was.

'…_he doesn't know how to sew…and he's making a mess._'

Insert mental sigh.

'_It will be quicker and less messy if I do it._'

Tamaki Shinichiro could say with utmost certainty that he was best buddies with Zero, the infamous leader of the Black Knights. After all, only a best friend will help you out of a jam and sew a torn jacket back to perfection without even asking for a "Thank you." in the end.

(Never mind that Zero had no clue what horror he had saved Tamaki from and that he had only taken over the sewing job because Tamaki's pitiful attempt made his inner housewife flinch.)

There Goes Our Funding

Kirihara's eyes widened at the sight of the boy's familiar face.

Wisps of silky black hair that contrasted pale skin in a lovely manner and a pair of dazzling liquid amethysts that he had not seen for many, many years.

It was the young prince that had been forsaken by his own father and long-thought dead to the world.

The Eleventh Imperial Prince to the Holy Britannian Empire and the only son born to Britannia's late empress, Marianne vi Britannia.

Prince Lelouch vi Britannia.

He had somehow survived the war and had grown up in hiding. Now, here he was, revealing himself as the masked enigma only known as "Zero" and asking for his help.

Kirihara smirked.

"So, the seed planted all those years ago has finally bloomed, has it?" he remarked before he laughed. "Ohgi! This man is truly an enemy of Britannia and his face must remain hidden at all costs! I will grant your organization the support that it needs!"

To Lelouch's and Kirihara's guards' surprise, the elder man moved out from behind the veil concealing him.

"As for you…"

Kirihara suddenly reached out and took hold of Lelouch's hand.

"You've grown up _a lot_ since I last saw you." the old man stated, his voice taking on a tone that Lelouch was _not_ comfortable with. "I've always admired your girly features from afar and I can tell that your beauty has only blossomed over time."

Lelouch's left eye twitched and his free hand was hovering near his hip, fingers twitching.

'_Is he…is he _flirting_ with me?!_' Lelouch thought, utterly horrified.

As Kirihara rambled on about how the prince's beauty "outshone the glorious light of all the stars in heaven", Lelouch tried to convince himself that this creepy old man was _not_ flirting with him because it was just--TOUCH.

BANG!

A small funeral was held later on for Kirihara and the Black Knights lost their funding. (At least, for the time being anyway. Geass had its advantages, you know.)

While C.C. found the whole situation unbelievably hilarious, Lelouch remained stuck in a depressed slump for days afterward.

Suzaku, being the ever lovable person he was, tried to bring Lelouch out of his little unhappy corner. Success eluded him for a while, but when Lelouch decided to have a mood swing and consequently shouted out the reason for his unhappiness--"_He felt me up!!!_"--, Suzaku had a mood swing of his own. (And that was anger for whoever had touched his Lulu inappropriately.)

-X-X-X-X-

Serena: lol xD This one was even more fun than the last one. It's actually been sitting in my laptop for a while now. I forgot all about it. XD Then, when I was looking through my files, I saw it and opened it and realized that it needed to be posted (before I forgot about it again). So…yeah. Anyway, if you'd like to, please leave me a review~


	6. Lelouch's Revenge

Serena: xD I'm not sure if any of you will find this one funny or not, but I cannot stop laughing at the idea. I blame my friend for this!!!

I would like to thank the following people for reviewing: radarsada, RiseofaRebellion, Anime-StarWars-fan-zach, Diana Prince, LookingForMeaning, Cornelia Li Brittania, Incurable Spazz, KatYen, mochiusagi, Electric Eclectic, Lchocolatexx, Spunkay Skunk, Yamiro, Tainted Ink And Paper, ll His White Knight ll, and Izka!

Warnings: AU-ish. Implied SuzaLulu and a vague mention at ShirleyxLelouch. Some curse words are used.

Summary: Suzaku has taken to the annoying habit of teasing Lelouch every chance he gets. Naturally, Lelouch wants revenge and he knows just how to get it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass. The ending is based on a real life event (that happened yesterday in a Wal-Mart parking lot and was the funniest thing I have ever witnessed).

-X-X-X-X-  
Title: There's A Muffin In My Soup

Code 6: Lelouch's Revenge

Theme: What if Lelouch decided to embarrass Suzaku?

By: Serena the Hikari of Love  
-X-X-X-X-

Lelouch would have kicked himself if he had been allowed to move his legs. (_Why_ couldn't he have just said no?!)

Unfortunately, the game's rules prevented him from doing so. If he moved his legs away from the colored dots for even one second, he would instantly lose the game and that was _not_ an option.

Because losing meant that Suzaku would win and Suzaku winning meant that Lelouch would be forced to go on the class field trip to the hot springs.

And he did _not_ want to go. (He had better things to do. Zero couldn't order his knights around if he was stuck on a bus with a bunch of hormonal teenagers, you know.)

The field trip was optional and Lelouch had already made up his mind to not go, but Suzaku had been pestering him the entire week to change his mind. (And damn that boy was stubborn!)

Throughout the course of one week, Lelouch had been poked, tickled, glomped, chased around the campus, pinned against multiple surfaces, carried around bridal-style, and then he had gotten stuck up in a tree while trying to hide from Suzaku. (Among other things that he would not mention…such as the shower room incident…stupid sexy pilot.)

In short, Suzaku was being a pain in the ass and Lelouch wanted to get him back. He was just not certain how he should go about doing that as of yet.

"Right hand red, Lelouch!" Shirley suddenly called out, glancing up from the multicolored spinning wheel to look at him expectantly.

Lelouch frowned as he scanned the map of colorful dots below him.

Damn it! The closet red dot was mocking him from on the other side of a certain amused brunet.

He scanned the map again, hoping to find another red dot that would not cost him his victory.

He found none.

The only red dot he could truly use was the one nearest Suzaku.

Damn his luck all to hell.

"What are you waiting for, Lelouch?" Suzaku questioned innocently, managing to remain balanced on one hand with no problems.

Show off.

Lelouch's eyes narrowed and his frown deepened as he eyed the other male warily. For some reason, he felt a foreboding sense of doom wash over him. He just knew that if he stretched his arm out to touch that red dot that something horrible would happen.

"Come on, Lulu! You have to move or you forfeit!" Shirley reminded him, a finger tapping against the spinner impatiently.

Lelouch sighed.

"Fine." he mumbled, adjusting himself so that he would not tip over.

Once he was ready, he shifted his weight to his left arm and stretched his other arm over Suzaku. Luckily, he managed to touch the red dot without any trouble, but unfortunately--for Lelouch--, he was hovering just a few inches over Suzaku.

And said brunet was staring at him with a rather scary smirk on his face.

After making sure that Lelouch's hand had landed on the correct dot, Shirley simply smiled and lifted a finger to flick against the spinner.

And while the spinner was spinning…

Poke.

Lelouch jumped a little at the unexpected touch and he sent a glare down at Suzaku.

His only response was another poke at his abdomen.

"_Stop that._" Lelouch warned, his voice laced with an unspoken threat.

"Stop what?" Suzaku asked innocently, casually tracing a circle around Lelouch's bellybutton.

Lelouch bit his lip and tried very hard not to giggle at the sensation, but it was hard. Especially when Suzaku decided to flutter his fingers around.

"Th-Thahat!" he complained, his body automatically trying to twist away. "Quit dohoing that!"

Suzaku just continued to smirk.

"Maybe I don't want to~." was his response and he continued to "assault" the helpless prince without a shred of guilt.

Poor Lelouch was shaking with repressed giggles by this point. He could stop Suzaku at any time, but doing so would mean losing the game and as previously mentioned, losing was not an option.

But the irony of that was that at the rate his energy was disappearing, losing the game was becoming the only option he had. (Curse Suzaku's knowledge of his ticklish spots! This was just plain cheating!)

If he had held out for a few moments longer, he still might have had a chance at winning.

"Left hand green, Suzaku!" Shirley announced.

Unfortunately, Lelouch's arms gave out on him the moment the spinner finally decided to cease its spinning and he fell against Suzaku who somehow managed to remain in his awkwardly bent position.

"Aw, Lulu, you lost!" Shirley exclaimed despite seeming happy about this fact.

She was going on the field trip too, you know.

Lelouch growled and promptly aimed a punch at Suzaku's right arm, causing the brunet to lose his supporting pillar and collapse onto the ground.

"Because he _cheated_!" Lelouch protested, searching for any excuse not to be dragged into going on the field trip. "He kept tickling me so I would fall!"

Shirley giggled.

"Well…there's no rule against tickling someone during the game." she said, feeling just a tad guilty for not siding with her crush.

Lelouch opened his mouth to protest again, but he closed it and sighed before slumping onto the ground in defeat.

Because Shirley was right. There was absolutely nothing within the game's rules that specifically said that tickling another player was improper game etiquette. Suzaku's left hand had yet to touch the map and so he was free to use it how he pleased.

Even if that meant using it to tickle Lelouch into disqualification.

And because of this brilliant game strategy, Lelouch absolutely _had_ to go on the field trip now.

Suzaku: 1; Lelouch: 0.

-X-X-X-

Lelouch sat with his head leaning against the window beside him and stared out at the brightly lit world just waiting to be played in outside the transport bus. Various classmates were chattering with excitement about their future activities at the resort. Every face on the bus was lit up with a carefree smile that only youth can produce.

Everyone except Lelouch, who scowled at the cheery atmosphere. (Ugh. _Morning people._ It should be illegal for someone to be awake at five o'clock in the morning. If he were to ever somehow become emperor, the first thing he would do would be to ban early morning awakenings. The second would be to ban all P.E. classes. Those classes have been around for one year too many.)

"Beautiful day today, isn't it?"

Lelouch turned his sleepy glare upon the shining emerald-eyed boy seated beside him.

And he hissed. (Just like a cat.)

Suzaku blinked and watched as Lelouch turned away from him and snuggled back into the thick blanket wrapped around his body.

He sighed.

"Lelouch, don't tell me that you're still angry!"

"Then I won't." came the prince's answer.

Suzaku frowned.

"Oh, Lelouch…why do you have to be so stubborn? I just wanted to spend some time with you."

"Nnn." was the only response he got.

Suzaku sighed again and shook his head. With Lelouch giving him the cold shoulder, this was going to be a _long_ trip.

'_Maybe he'll be in a better mood by the time we reach the resort._' he mused. '_If not, maybe my gift will put him in a better mood._'

Suzaku blinked.

He _did_ place Lelouch's gift in his pocket, didn't he?

He searched his jacket pockets for the item and even the pockets of his jeans, but all he found was lint.

Lelouch's gift was not there.

'_Damn it! I must have left it on my dresser!_'

"I'll be right back!" he exclaimed hurriedly as he quickly rose from his seat and dashed to the front of the bus.

Lelouch lifted his head and raised an eyebrow at him as he watched Suzaku exit the bus.

"Suzaku, where are you going?! Get back here!" Milly yelled, sticking her head out of a window to yell at Suzaku.

Lelouch blinked as an idea formed within his mind. It was a devilishly delightful idea that promised him his revenge.

He smirked.

'_Oh, Suzaku, you should know better than to mess with me._'

"I forgot something!! I'll be right back!!" Suzaku shouted back, not even bothering to stop.

But he did stop when another voice called out to him.

"Suzaku~!!"

Suzaku paused and turned around to see Lelouch leaning out the window he had been slumped against just moments before.

He was a bit surprised to see a smile on the boy's face and for a moment, he thought that Lelouch had finally forgiven him.

Lelouch pressed a hand to his lips and made the action of blowing him a kiss.

"I love you!!!"

The bus became eerily quiet after that particularly loud announcement.

Suzaku's eyes widened as a bright blush spread across his cheeks. He was so flustered and surprised that he did not know what to say.

But apparently, Lelouch wasn't finished speaking.

"Hurry back!!" he exclaimed, waving an arm in the air. "I miss you already, honey bear!!!"

Suzaku's blush, if possible, darkened and he did the only sensible thing he could think of doing.

He turned and fled.

"Wait!! Don't run away!! If you trip, you'll be too bruised for me to cuddle!!"

Suzaku just kept running.

And Lelouch said nothing more because he had already succeeded in his objective.

Lelouch 1; Suzaku 0.

-X-X-X-X-

Serena: XD This is probably one of the funniest mental images I have ever had. And the fact that I can practically hear Lelouch yelling this out to Suzaku just makes it funnier. Well, if you can spare the time, I'd **love** a review~! ;D


	7. Reader Suggestions Eat Your Head

Serena: …ha.

I would like to thank the following people for reviewing: MithLuin, Namiko Shigemoto, Diana Prince, Anime-StarWars-fan-zach, Spunkay Skunk, LookingForMeaning, mochiusagi, Yamiro, Incurable Spazz, Lchocolatexx, Izka, RiseofaRebellion, lover-of-light, Agatsuma Ritsuka, oO0 neko518 0Oo, 0mohni0, xTincampi, KT, and ndesi62!

Warnings: AU-ish. Random IMing, random kitty!Lelouch…and just randomness all around. xD

Summary: Because randomly chatting with friends and having spazz attacks is fun.

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

-X-X-X-

Title: There's A Muffin In My Soup

Code 7: Reader Suggestions Eat Your Head

Theme: What if I did reader suggestions? :D

By: Serena the Hikari of Love

-X-X-X-

IMing Can Be Dangerous (Idea from LookingForMeaning and help with the IM's from my Suzie)

--Strawberry Pocky is now Online--

--Pudding is Love is now Online--

Strawberry Pocky: Why didn't you come to class today?

Pudding is Love: Because I chose not to.

Strawberry Pocky: You're such a delinquent. You need to come to class more.

Pudding is Love: I have enough credits to pass. I'll survive.

Strawberry Pocky: That isn't the point. I barely get to see you as it is. Do I have to start tying you up and dragging you to class?

Pudding is Love: Ooohh~ You want to tie me up, do you? How exciting. Just what do you plan to do to me, Mr. White Knight?

Strawberry Pocky: KSAJSDBJ

…

Strawberry Pocky: Sorry. Accident…and isn't it a little too early for you to try seducing me?

Pudding is Love: It's never too early. Besides, you know you want me.

Strawberry Pocky: True. All I ever think about is making you bend to my will.

Pudding is Love: Do you mean figuratively or literally~?

Strawberry Pocky: Any way I can get you under me, love~

The sarcasm was evident to the both of them. They had a unique way of IMing each other so it was fortunate for the both of them that no one else could read their messages or else people would get the wrong idea. Of course, there were times when one of them would say something that surprised the other, but it was a sort of game to them…sort of…okay, perhaps it was a tad real…maybe.

--The Muffin Queen is now Online--

The Muffin Queen: Aha! I caught the two of you slacking off!

Pudding is Love: How did you enter our private chat?!

The Muffin Queen: Oh, I have my ways, dear little vice-prez. I have my ways~

Strawberry Pocky: She stole my computer long enough to invite herself.

The Muffin Queen: Oh! It was supposed to be a secret!

Pudding is Love: I see. Would you mind leaving? We were in the middle of something.

The Muffin Queen: Oh, I saw! I saw! And how romantic~

Strawberry Pocky: It isn't what you're thinking!

Pudding is Love: Don't you dare try to save that!

The Muffin Queen: I wouldn't dream of it! Well, maybe just having a little copy to myself. It would be a cute way to reminisce on your early love filled days once you've gotten married and had a child or two.

Strawberry Pocky: But Lelouch is a guy. He can't have children.

Pudding is Love: Exactly.

Pudding is Love: Hold on. Are you implying that I would be the girl in the relationship?

The Muffin Queen: You do have a feminine quality to your looks.

Strawberry Pocky: And you can easily pass yourself off as a girl. Dresses really suit you.

Pudding is Love: You're both insane! If there was a relationship like that between Suzaku and I, Suzaku would be the girl!

Strawberry Pocky: Oh rly?

Pudding is Love: Yeah rly.

The Muffin Queen: But Lulu, Suzaku is more physically adept than you are. He's much better suited to being the more dominant one.

Strawberry Pocky: You're better off being the wifey, Lu.

Pudding is Love: Bite me! I am no wifey of yours, Kururugi!

Strawberry Pocky: I can arrange that~ Maybe a little nip here and there will convince you that you're the wifey of our relationship.

Pudding is Love: You could only be so lucky.

Strawberry Pocky: I'll just have to tie you up then~

Pudding is Love: And I can scream rape.

Strawberry Pocky: Then I'll cover your mouth so you can't.

Pudding is Love: Then I will bite the hell out of whatever you "cover" my mouth with.

Strawberry Pocky: I'll just use a gag so bite all you want~

Pudding is Love: I'll hate you when you let me go.

Strawberry Pocky: Then I'll just make you love me all over again~

Pudding is Love: I just can't win with you, can I?

Strawberry Pocky: No. No you can't. You're stuck with me~

Pudding is Love: Oh joy.

The Muffin Queen: teehee~

The Muffin Queen: And you two claim that you're just friends~ You're both so cute~

Strawberry Pocky: …I forgot you were here.

Pudding is Love: …aren't you both in the same room? Suzaku, you idiot.

Strawberry Pocky: Oopps?

The Muffin Queen: How exciting! A couple of love birds right under our noses! I must plan a party to celebrate!

Pudding is Love: Milly, don't you dare!!!!

--The Muffin Queen is now Offline--

Pudding is Love: Damn it. This is all your fault.

Strawberry Pocky: Sorry, Lu. What's the worst that she could do?

As it turns out, the worst that Milly could do on this particular day was organize a game of "Hide and Go Find Lulu Before His Not-Boyfriend Does", which was nothing more than a trick by Milly to push the two not-lovers together. Naturally, Suzaku did find Lelouch before someone else did and they did end up spending most of the day together because of it. However, that time together consisted of sneaking around campus and ducking behind objects and into empty rooms to hide from crazed students who were still searching for Lelouch. And, eventually, this hiding tactic backfired on them in the form of them getting shut up inside a storage closet for a few hours, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing depending on how you looked at it. However, it was hard for either of the two not-lovers to explain exactly why Suzaku was straddling his wifey's waist when they were eventually found inside the closet.

I Found A Cute Thing…Can I Eat It? (A mixed idea from KT and o0CheckMate0o. Note: You will be seeing more of this idea in a future chapter.)

Have you ever stumbled across something so out of the ordinary that you froze in place and just stared, like you couldn't believe what you were seeing? Have your eyes ever caught sight of something so phenomenal that you caught yourself thinking that the sight your eyes had found was otherworldly? Have you ever seen something so cute that your heart tried to implode from the overabundance of sheer adorableness?

Suzaku was having one of those experiences today.

Even though it was out-of-character for him to act in such a giddy manner and even though he was about ninety-nine percent certain that someone had heard his overexcited shriek of "AWWWW!!!", he couldn't bring himself to care.

Because nestled atop the various blankets of his bed lied one of the cutest damn things he had ever seen and that was his best friend, Lelouch.

With a furry pair of cat ears sitting atop his head and a long, silky tail draped over the covers.

Yup and Suzaku's insides were threatening to melt into a happy puddle of goo because he had a cat-eared cutie lounging on his bed.

But, of course, this cat-eared cutie would have been ten-times as adorable had he still been sleeping. Unfortunately (or fortunately because, honestly, Suzaku probably could not have handled such an extreme level of cute), Suzaku's cooing shriek had roused Lelouch from his peaceful slumber and now said Lulu had a ticked off expression adoring his face while he glared ever so menacingly at his spazzing friend.

"Suzaku, what the hell are you giggling over at" --Lelouch glanced at the clock-- "seven in the morning? And why did you scream?"

Lelouch's 'I'm-not-a-morning-person' demeanor was covering the room in a tense fog. He was clearly unhappy with being awoken at such a horrible hour, if the angry movements of his slightly frizzed-out tail and the lain back position of his ears were anything to go by.

But Suzaku being Suzaku and being the cat-loving and Lulu-loving person he was did not feel any sort of fear. In fact, the tenseness and overall angry aura that Lelouch was emanating might as well be nonexistent because Suzaku was continuing to spazz over Lelouch's huggable appearance like an anime fan spazzed over a new release of their favorite series.

Suzaku opened his grinning mouth to reply, but he ended up giggling more audibly and had to cover his mouth to smother the onslaught of giggles.

Lelouch's left eye twitched.

"Suzaku, you better have a damn good reason to be acting like an idiot at this hour. Otherwise, I'm not sleeping over again tonight."

Ah, yes. Lelouch was sleeping over at Suzaku's for the weekend. Normally, Lelouch didn't spend the night away from home if he could help it. It wasn't because he was anti-social or anything. He just liked to watch over his little sister, Nunnally, because she was his favorite sibling and he didn't trust that little psychopath boyfriend of hers to not do inappropriate things to her behind closed doors. However, Nunnally had assured him that her boyfriend, Rolo, was completely trustworthy and that Lelouch should go have "fun" with Suzaku for the weekend.

And yes. Nunnally _did_ imply something when she said "fun", but Lelouch refused to acknowledge that Nunnally knew anything about _that_ kind of stuff. (Never mind that there was an overflowing shelf of questionable books inhabiting Nunnally's room that all had pictures of pretty men standing or sitting or whatever next to other pretty men. Because those did not exist in her room. Lelouch just had constant hallucinations of the same thing whenever he entered her room. That was all.)

Nunnally had also called his visiting Suzaku a "sleepover", which was ridiculous. Girls like Milly and Kaguya had sleepovers. Boys like Suzaku and Lelouch had…something _not_ called a sleepover. At sleepovers, all sorts of crazy childish nonsense happened. Pillow fights, popcorn fights, ghost stories, secret swapping, discussions about who the cutest boy in school was, etc. Suzaku and Lelouch did _nothing_ of the sort. (Well, they _did_ have a pillow fight. But that was _only_ because Suzaku was being mean and refused to give him his book back. So…he threw a pillow at the brunet and then a fluffy pillow war started. But they did nothing else.)

(Well, they slept in the same bed together, but they had done that for ages so it really wasn't a big deal.)

"I-I'm sorry." Suzaku apologized, still unable to keep a straight face while looking at Lelouch.

Honestly. Suzaku thought his heart was going to explode from all the giddiness he was feeling. Lelouch was breaking the record in cute. It was just too much adorableness to take in one sitting.

It was the kind of cute that was just _so_ adorable, you wanted to eat it.

"I didn't _mean_ to wake you so early." Suzaku continued, another spazz attack threatening to come as he watched Lelouch's ears twitch.

He wanted to touch them _so_ badly!

"It's just…well, you."

One of Lelouch's ears lifted as he raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Me? You had a giggling seizure and woke me up at seven in the morning because of _me_?" he asked, not amused. "Pray tell, why?"

Suzaku looked thoughtful for a moment as he tried to come up with a way to explain the…situation…to Lelouch. After a few moments of thought, he decided that giving Lelouch a visual example would be the best way to explain.

"If you turn and look at the mirror, I think you'll understand why." he said, gesturing towards a tall mirror that was attached to the wall.

Lelouch simply gave him a skeptical 'You-better-not-be-BSing-me' look before he gave a light huff and pushed himself up into a sitting position. After taking a moment to yawn and stretch his limbs, Lelouch lazily turned towards the mirror, excepting to see nothing more than his own reflection.

So it was natural for him to receive a shock when, instead of his normal tousled morning state, he saw a tousled version of himself donned with a pair of cat ears and a long silky tail lazily patting against the bed.

His wide-eyed expression did nothing but force Suzaku into another giggling fit.

Today was _not_ going to be a good day. This, Lelouch was certain of and in a way, he wasn't wrong. Of course, that would depend on who you were asking.

If you asked Lelouch, you would receive a negative response that went something like this: "Today was _horrible_! I've never been tortured so much in my entire life!" Insert an aggravated huff and a dark blush. "…Suzaku has a way of annoying me when the need strikes him." Insert a deeper blush. "That idiot!"

If you asked Suzaku, you would receive a mischievous smirk and an amused chuckle as well as the positive response of: "Oh, today was _great_! I've never had so much fun all in one day." Insert another amused chuckle complete with a thoughtful look. "Lelouch has…amusing reactions to having his ears and tail rubbed."

-X-X-X-X-

Serena: So there's something to keep you guys entertained. ^^ I did only reviewer suggestions. I tried to start from the first ones I got, but that didn't work out so well. So, I did as many as my brain would allow for this update (only two, but hey, that's more than it would have been had I just only done one of these). Hope you enjoyed them because I had fun writing them. ^^ See you guys next chapter. If you have the time, please leave a review. I know I've been slow with answering them a lot lately, but I do try to answer them all. ^^ So I just wanted to apologize for that before I go back to writing. I seem to be writing a lot today so I want to take advantage of this and finally finish of that bloody last chapter of Screaming Notes. [flees to do so]


	8. His Butler, Controlling

Serena: There is a list of reasons why I haven't updated anything, but to save time and space, I'll only name two. The first is that I simply do not have as much time anymore due to my living arrangements and life in general. Secondly, my muse quite literally died. My Suzaku…was a great inspiration source and ever since he died, I haven't felt motivated enough to bother with writing (or much else). I've tried, but...ah, well. Anyway, here's a bit of pointless nonsense to keep you entertained~ Other updates? …aha. The ones I had are locked away on my old laptop still. I've tried countless times, but I've just had to accept that they're lost. Rewriting's a bitch, but it'll get done eventually (whether anyone reads them or not).

Warnings: AU (no really). Crossover with Kuroshitsuji because SebastianxLelouch is the greatest crossover pairing ever to have existed.

Summary: In the war against Britannia, Lelouch finds a valuable ally in the form of a well-dressed, raven-haired man that used to be well acquainted with his mother. / "My Lord. I would do anything would you but order me."

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass nor do I own Kuroshitsuji.

-x-x-x-x-

Title: There's A Muffin In My Soup

Code 8: His Butler, Controlling

Theme: What if I wrote a crossover with Kuroshitsuji?

By: Serena the Hikari of Love

-x-x-x-x-

"Lelouch," Suzaku started, his jade irises eyes shining in concern for his bedridden friend.

The brunet laid a hand over the one Lelouch had lain against his chest and squeezed it gently.

"…Lelouch, what did he do to you?" he asked softly and that only caused Lelouch's eyes to widen in surprise.

"What?" Lelouch asked in uncertainty. "No one did this to me, Suzaku. I told you. I fell."

It was the truth yet a simultaneous lie. The violet-eyed prince _did_ fall, but it was in the company of a damaged Knightmare Frame he had been unfortunate enough to be inside during the disaster at Narita. Miscalculations on top of more miscalculations resulted not only in Lelouch losing his chance at capturing Cornelia (as well as losing many innocent lives), but he had engaged in a battle against the mysterious White Knightmare and its pilot and lost pitifully.

Lelouch was not a warrior, but a strategist. His specialty lay in meticulous planning and, if you will, 'braveheart' speeches that moved peoples' hearts and urged the passionate souls of his followers and supporters to rally behind him. Lelouch's words were his weapons. He knew how to operate Knightmares and he could defend himself in one well enough, but against such a skilled, fearsome pilot, he was defenseless. The White Knightmare severely damaged Lelouch's Frame and forced the teenaged terrorist to eject. That ejection, unfortunately, was sorely off its trajectory and he crash landed at the bottom of a small ravine. The landing was forceful enough that the sharper rocks sitting at the ravine's bottom skewered the weaker points of the metal encasing. Lelouch (though he received no fatal wounds) received a nasty gash upon his right thigh and another bleeding wound upon his upper left arm (as well as a rather nasty migraine and backache from being jostled about so much).

Lelouch, still in pain somewhat despite the pain medicine filtering through his system, was a bit confused by the brunet's sudden question. One minute, the Honorary Britannian was fussing over Lelouch like a mother hen whose feathers had been ruffled the wrong way and the next; he was making wild assumptions about how Lelouch came to be injured. Lelouch didn't understand what (and why) his childhood friend was asking him. Who was the brunet referring to and who did Suzaku think hurt him?

Suzaku's eyes hardened a bit and they glazed over as he became lost in his thoughts. The hand he held Lelouch's with tightened a little and this only caused Lelouch more worry. After a moment of staring at nothing, Suzaku returned to himself and settled his gaze on Lelouch once more.

"_Sebastian_." Suzaku said with a disapproving glint in his eyes. "What did _he_ do to you?"

Lelouch's eyes narrowed at the venom with which Suzaku spoke the butler's name.

"Suzaku, I don't—" Lelouch started, but Suzaku interrupted him.

"Lelouch, I do _not_ trust him."

At Lelouch's ever-growing, surprised expression, a hint of regret tinted the brunet's hardened features and he sent Lelouch an apologetic gaze.

"I'm _sorry_." he said in apology, realizing that his confession was possibly upsetting his friend. "I know you trust him and everything, but…there's just something about him, Lelouch. The way he looks at you…"

Suzaku's angered expression returned and he looked away briefly to glare at the wall. After another moment, he turned back and forced a smile.

"You know what? Never mind." he said suddenly, trying to steer the conversation elsewhere.

Suzaku had a feeling that speaking so ill of Sebastian would only anger his injured friend and Suzaku wanted to avoid causing Lelouch any further pain. He really cared for the Britannian prince with all his heart and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt him. That dark butler had been a constant presence within the two Britannian siblings' lives since before their mother died and they both trusted Sebastian. The raven-haired man had done nothing to warrant any distrust (other than the lecherous gazes Suzaku had seen Sebastian send Lelouch's way when the prince wasn't looking and his frequent, suspicious disappearances that seemed to coincide with Zero's appearances). Suzaku shouldn't be asking nor implying such things when Lelouch was in such a state.

"I'm sorry. Forget I ever brought it up. I'm just…worried about you is all."

Suzaku managed to make his smile genuine (for Lelouch's sake) and gave Lelouch's hand another squeeze before releasing it.

"I should go. You need to rest." he started, but paused at Lelouch's expression. "…Lelouch?"

Lelouch was laying there with a strange look in his eyes and a blush lighting up his cheeks. He gaze was turned down at the bed sheets and he seemed…troubled. Upon hearing Suzaku speak his name in a questioning tone, Lelouch flinched and his cheeks darkened.

"…what are you thinking?" Suzaku asked hesitantly.

It was rather odd behavior coming from Lelouch. Could it be that…?

Lelouch's mouth opened slightly, but his eyes took on a distressed shine and he closed it. He tugged his hand out of Suzaku's reach (for the brunet had been reaching for it again) and turned his head to face away from Suzaku.

"I'm tired." Lelouch answered, deliberately avoiding the question. "You must be, too. You can spend the night, if you want. I know Nunnally wouldn't mind. She adores you, you know?"

Suzaku stared in questioning concern (and slight hurt from the silent hand rejection). Lelouch didn't want to discuss anything concerning what had happened to him. Perhaps it was simply because there was nothing more to discuss about it and Lelouch had never particularly enjoyed repeating himself. On the other hand, what if there was more to the fall?

As Suzaku pondered the situation further, he came to a realization and he stiffened.

_That __**bastard**_, Suzaku seethed in reference to the raven-haired butler. _He's done __**something**__. I know it._

"Lelouch, _please_." the brunet pleaded, his concern and silent anger growing as he saw Lelouch flinch yet again. "Can't you just tell me what happened? You're hiding something. I _know_ it. You can tell me _anything_. You know that, right?"

Lelouch remained silent, but his cheeks still burned and he was chewing on his bottom lip. And his eyes. They just wouldn't stay still. It was telltale signs that were setting off red flags within Suzaku's mind.

"Lelou—"

"Just drop it, Suzaku! I'm not in the mood to discuss this." the bedridden teen snapped. "I fell. That's all that happened."

Lelouch felt guilt eat away at his thoughts and he ceased worrying his lower lip to frown deeply. He had lied to Suzaku not only once (though, again, it was more a half-truth than a lie), but twice. He was only trapping himself even deeper into his web of lies, but he absolutely could _not_ tell Suzaku the truth. The Britannian teen honestly could not predict what his friend's reaction would be and so he avoided the truth by continuing to lie. But hearing Suzaku say those words (that he could trust him and tell him _anything_) only served to tug mercilessly at his heart strings.

Because the truth was that, true to Suzaku's suspicions, Sebastian _had_ done something…

_**Earlier that evening…**_

Lelouch _ached_ all over. His thigh and shoulder were both stinging rather fiercely and his neck and back throbbed with a dull pain. His breaths were ragged and, because he felt the mask was hindering his ability to breath at the moment, he lifted a shaky hand to remove the offending mask shielding his face.

"Uh!"

Lelouch gasped as a sharp jolt of pain flared up his injured leg and the mask promptly fell from his weary grasp with a loud, bouncing bang. He wasn't certain where it finally settled, but he was hardly concerned with the item's placement. He was more concerned for his predicament.

_What should I do?_, he questioned in uncertainty. _I'm useless at running and if that White Knightmare finds me…_

Lelouch allowed his eyes to close as he fought through the pain to try and think of a course of action. He could try calling for back-up, but that white devil was right on his tail. It wouldn't take long for it to find him and his subordinates were all too far away. He _had_ to escape before this metal Knightmare piece became his tomb. Perhaps he could find some place to hide until—someone was prying the metal encasement open!

There was screeching sounds of metal being stripped and slashed at from up above him and, though it hurt to move, Lelouch craned his neck upward just as a section of metal was torn away and tossed aside to reveal…

"Young Master, there you are." came the familiar voice.

Its owner smiled in his usual, unconcerned manner before carefully lowering himself down into the metal encasement to join Lelouch. The tall, well-dressed man cast a semi-concerned gaze at the bleeding wounds Lelouch had and he tsked disapprovingly.

"Your knack for finding trouble astounds me." he commented with a shake of his head. "Whatever would Lady Nunnally say?"

Lelouch flinched at the mention of his little sister. He imagined that Nunnally would be none too pleased at the discovery that her dear brother had been injured (and she would most likely be even less happy upon discovering that exact reason for Lelouch's injuries). Surely he wouldn't-?

The dark man chuckled.

"Of course, I would never think of saying anything to her about such matters." he continued and a gloved hand was at his chest in an instant. "You may trust in me to keep this secret a secret."

Lelouch, despite the pain, managed to smirk haughtily.

"Sebastian, you've been with Nunnally and me for years." he stated, chuckling humorlessly. "I trust you, to an extent, and I cannot deny that your loyalty is unwavering, but so many from my past are dangerous. How do I know you speak the truth when so many, including myself, repeatedly dance around it?"

Sebastian's smile never faltered.

"Because I do not lie as humans do." he answered simply.

It seemed to be some sort of secret joke because Sebastian's eyes were shining in amusement after his answer. Lelouch stared up at him in silent amusement himself because, really, what sort of answer was that?

"What do—"

"My Lord. I would do anything would you but order me."

Lelouch froze at the sudden intensity that flitted through the man's eyes. He opened his mouth with the intention of saying something, _anything_, but Sebastian…

A hand was caressing his cheek before Lelouch realized what was happening. The dark-haired butler was kneeling down before him (like a knight to his king), his lips drawn into a knowing smirk. The hand touching his cheek swept its gloved thumb under his left eye and the longing, _hungry_ gaze those fiery eyes bore into him sent a chill down Lelouch's spine. When Sebastian began to lean in, Lelouch couldn't resist the urge to push back against his seat in an attempt to distance himself from the unexpected intrusion, but a hand settled itself atop his own in an almost soothing gesture and, to his surprise, he felt himself beginning to relax despite the sudden intrusion into his personal space.

_It's only Sebastian_, Lelouch told himself firmly.

What had Lelouch to fear from him? Sebastian had been with he and Nunnally ever since he could remember. The other man had remained with them through the good times and the bad. Even when their father—_no_, not father…he didn't deserve such a title—_that man_ had shipped them both off to Japan as political hostages, he had kept his usual perch in the two children's shadows to oversee their safety. Sebastian (this man who had known their mother for years and years) was…safe. Lelouch could trust him (and he did) with many, many things. Even his secret of being the enigma Zero (who was throwing all of Britannia and the _world_ into a fit) could be trusted to this individual.

'_Even if he __**is**__ too close…_' Lelouch added, nervousness fluttering around him.

Sebastian let that knowing smirk ease into what resembled a friendly smile. It was the butler's typical smile he usually wore each day. Lelouch admitted (internally) that the sight of that smile helped to ease his mind during times of stress. Perhaps he was only trying to help Lelouch relax from the pain?

The hand at Lelouch's cheek slid to cradle the back of the teenager's head, fingers threading through silky locks and tightening enough so that Lelouch could feel the pressure without the pain. It felt sort of…nice.

"Sebastian."

The hand atop Lelouch's slid away as Sebastian pressed a finger against his smiling lips and shushed the injured teen.

"Shh." he commanded gently. "Trust in me to make everything well again, Your Highness."

Sebastian moved his hand again and grabbed hold of Lelouch's chin firmly.

"All I require is an order." he continued in something akin to amusement.

He tilted Lelouch's head slightly as he leaned in more. His lips parted ever so slightly and his eyes narrowed somewhat.

"!"

Lelouch's automatic reaction was to move back, but due to the chair blocking him and Sebastian's hands holding him in place, he could not move an inch. Sebastian's actions startled him and his stomach was twisting itself into nervous, fluttery knots to closer Sebastian came. Sebastian's lips were drawn so close to his that Lelouch could feel the man's breath brushing against his own lips in warm, feather light caresses. Just as he thought that his chest would implode from the sheer force of his nervousness, Sebastian caught his eyes and trapped them in a hypnotic gaze.

"I will do…_anything_." Sebastian repeated, his mouth hovering over Lelouch's tauntingly. "Even if it were something like…"

It was nothing more than a brush of skin against skin, but he couldn't deny that there was a spark of some kind. It was _feral_ and filled with malicious intent that Lelouch couldn't begin to describe. It wasn't even a real kiss, but that brief touch was _suffocating_. His blood burned beneath his skin and eyes watered of their own accord at an odd tugging sensation he felt deep, _deep_ down inside. It was almost…painful. He felt as if…

"This." Sebastian finished, chuckling at Lelouch's expression as he pulled back.

The hands left Lelouch's face as the butler stood from his kneeled down position. Cocking his head to the side, Sebastian placed a hand over his heart and, for the briefest moment, his eyes flashed a hellish red.

"Use me, Your Highness." he stated and he kneeled down, yet again, as a knight would to his king.

He closed his eyes and bowed his head submissively.

"I will carry out _any_ order."

By all appearances, Lelouch was the one in control (his shocked expression notwithstanding), but Lelouch felt about as far from being in control as he had ever felt. Sebastian's movements and that…that faux kiss made him feel as if…

He felt as if his soul was being sucked out.

-x-x-

Suzaku was silent as he slipped into the hallway. It was late and Lelouch had graciously invited Suzaku to spend the night. Despite the brunet's reservations about doing so (because he honestly didn't wish to be a bother), Suzaku had accepted the invitation and Lelouch had sent him away with orders to use the spare bedroom across the hall. Lelouch was kind, but Suzaku thought he was being a little too kind.

_He's trying to protect Sebastian_, Suzaku decided firmly.

After all, why else would Lelouch avoid Suzaku's questions like that?

Suzaku sighed and leaned against the wall beside Lelouch's bedroom door.

'_What should I do?_' he wondered. '_Lelouch refuses to talk to me about it and Sebastian…_'

Suzaku sneered in distaste. Truth be told, he had never been particularly fond of Sebastian, but he had always kept silent about it because Nunnally had only ever spoken of the butler in a positive light and Lelouch had mirrored Nunnally's sentiments towards the butler as well, it seemed. He had let sleeping dogs lie up until now. But, now that he had mentioned it to Lelouch, he had no idea where to go from there.

"Why do things have to be so difficult?" he mumbled to the empty hallway and sighing.

A chuckle was his only answer.

"They need not be." a familiar voice said. "You simply choose to make them as such."

Startled by the sudden, unexpected answer, Suzaku jumped. A tall figure dressed in a black suit emerged from out the shadows of the hallway. A suspicious glint was shining in his eyes and smile that wasn't quite a smile was playing along his lips.

'_Sebastian_.'

Suzaku never bothered to hide his frown.

"Sir Kururugi, it is rather late." Sebastian started, cocking his head to the side. "Shall you be taking your leave or were to stay the night?"

"Lelouch asked me to stay the night in over there." Suzaku stated in a tight voice and gesturing towards the room across the hall.

Sebastian nodded his head in understanding.

"I see. Well, in that case, I shall leave you to your own devices. Good night, Sir Kururugi."

With that, Sebastian started to walk down the hall, but Suzaku just couldn't let things be.

"What did you do to him?" Suzaku demanded in a harsh whisper.

Unbidden anger was boiling within his chest and the glare he sent the butler's way could have caused metal to rust with the sheer force of its intensity. Sebastian was unaffected and merely cocked his head to the side.

"Did what to whom, Sir Kururugi?" Sebastian asked in feigned innocence. "Do you mean Master Lelouch?"

"What did you _do_ to him?" Suzaku repeated, his tone rising a bit.

Sebastian just continued to feign innocence.

"If you are referring to the young master's wounds, it is only natural to clean and bandage them. I could never disre—"

Suzaku lost his temper and, without taking into account that his actions may not only awaken Lelouch but put he himself in harm's way, he shoved the older man up against the wall.

"The wounds you caused?" the brunet accused, his eyes burning with anger.

At the accusation, Sebastian's eyes flashed dangerously and before Suzaku knew what was happening, his forearms were trapped within gloved hands and his back was being pressed against the same wall space that he had shoved Sebastian against only seconds before.

"It would be in your best interest not to tempt me, child." Sebastian stated, an undercurrent of malice tinting his words. "I would never dream of hurting Master Lelouch, but I have no reservations about hurting _you_."

Suzaku shivered involuntarily as the dark butler leaned in, drawing a little too close to his face for his liking. He tried to throw the older man off of him, but when he tried to wrench his arms from out of Sebastian's grasp, those gloved hands only clenched further and pushed at Suzaku's arms more forcefully.

"Get _off_ me!" Suzaku demanded, sending a heated glare straight into the other man's eyes (which were but inches away from his own). "You think you can get away with doing whatever the hell you want, but I _know_ you hurt Lelouch and I'm not going to let you do it again!"

As if in answer, a knee was shoved into Suzaku's thigh and Sebastian had the nerve to chuckle at the pained expression that flitted across Suzaku's face briefly.

"As previously stated, I would _never_ hurt Master Lelouch." Sebastian said and he tilted his head slightly as his eyes narrowed just a tad. "I have _not_ hurt him in any way. Although…"

Sebastian let an unreadable look pass through his eyes and his lips twitched at the corner. He leaned in yet again to draw nearer to Suzaku's ear, where he whispered something that made Suzaku's eyes widen almost comically and made his breath hitch.

"W-what are you?"

A mixture of emotions (mostly those most closely tied to anger and fear) were swirling around inside Suzaku's chest. He felt distinctively unsafe within Sebastian's grasp and with that whispered secret the dark-haired butler had chosen to share with him, he feared for Lelouch's and Nunnally's safety above all else. Just how safe were the two siblings with Sebastian?

At the question, Sebastian's pulled back enough so that he could stare down into Suzaku's eyes and his lips curled into a decidedly malicious smirk. His eyes were glowing with a hellish shine.

「私はあくまで執事ですから。」

Suzaku's eyes ever so slowly widened in horror as the pieces began to fall into place. He opened his mouth to form a response of some kind, but the words simply refused to come and remained stuck within his throat.

The devilish glow in Sebastian's eyes faded somewhat as he released his hold on Suzaku and as he watched the boy promptly slide to the ground in utter shock, he allowed a humored smile to play across his lips. Slipping a hand into his pocket, the butler pulled out an elegant silver pocket watch and flicked it open to check the time.

Ah. It was already so late? Sebastian really had to finish preparing for tomorrow. Lelouch should benefit from a specially brewed, herbal tea he had obtained earlier that morning. It held a suitable mixture of spices blended to perfection and the aroma was simply divine. Tea time was so very important (quite the relaxing activity, you see) and Lelouch needed all the rest he could get considering the outcome of his most recent escapade.

"Pardon me," Sebastian began as he closed the watch with a light 'click' before slipping it back into its resting place. "but there are a few more preparations I have yet to make for tomorrow."

Sebastian placed a hand over his heart and bowed slightly at the waist, his smile never once fading.

"Do come and visit again, Sir Kururugi. The young master greatly enjoys your company."

With a final, predatory gaze (a startling glance of pure _malice_ that succeeded in further scaring the traumatized teen), Sebastian turned away from Suzaku's frightened stare and proceeded to saunter down the stairs towards the kitchen. He never noticed (or cared to notice) when Suzaku finally managed to stand (shakily) to his feet and he never spared even a curious glance to the sudden run the brunet broke out into.

He just continued to smile with that same, devilish gleam in his eyes.

Contract or no contract, the young master, Lelouch, was _his_. At least, he would be just as soon as the two current contracts standing in Sebastian's way were either completed or absolved.

He knew little about the specifications of a Geass contract (Code Bearers were an unnatural sort and he rather disliked the few dealings he had had with past witches), but, going by what he did know, he could _not_ allow Lelouch to fulfill his contract with that green-haired witch. Somehow, he had to either convince Lelouch to break off the contract or force the witch to do so herself. Lelouch wasn't easy to manipulate (though that almost kiss he sprung on the unsuspecting teenager had worked wonders) and the witch would be even harder to convince considering the circumstances of a shared acquaintance of theirs.

Sebastian brought his left hand up and stared at it almost unseeingly.

A shared acquaintance that, due to a rather annoying complication, was in not one but _two_ contracts.

The first was a contract with a demon and the second was a contract with a witch.

Sebastian's eyes began to glow a hellish red as his gaze saw beyond the glove to the hidden array tattooed into his skin.

Unfortunately, the second contract that was standing in the way of his permanent claiming of Lelouch was one of his own. He only remained contracted with someone one at a time and though his true master would always (until the end) be _her_, he had been given the freedom to pursue other interests thanks to the final order he had been given:

"_Sebastian, this is an order. Until you are to claim my soul, you will remain loyal to my children, Lelouch and Nunnally. Obey their commands and fulfill their wishes. And above all else, protect them when I cannot."_

And for the past seven years, Sebastian had done just that. He catered to every childish or tedious whim the two siblings managed to think up. The more childish of requests had come from Nunnally while the more serious seemingly been reserved for Lelouch. Ever since having been shipped off to a foreign country out of political greed, Lelouch had held a deep, smoldering hatred for his homeland (or, to be more precise, his _father_). The young child, while not completely immune to the curious nature of childhood mischief, had matured far beyond his years. However, Sebastian could hardly complain. This maturing added a delicate selection of spices to the boy's already tantalizing soul. A seed of bitter hate had been planted inside the child and it caused his soul to grow with a rather twisted darkness enveloping it.

And yet…it still remained pure.

Sebastian resisted the urge to shiver in delighted anticipation.

Delicious flavors like Lelouch's soul did not appear just anywhere. Perhaps the souls died prematurely or were simply never discovered to begin with, but regardless, demons such as he could be considered 'blessed' upon finding such a savory treat. Sebastian had no intention of giving his discovery up (especially after having lusted over it for so long).

He coveted the soul of Lelouch vi Britannia just as he had of one Ciel Phantomhive so long ago and he was determined to make that soul _his_ in every since of the word. Lelouch would enter into a contract with him one way or another. The demon would find a way because he was, after all, one hell of a butler.

-X-X-X-X-

Serena: Might thou bless me with reviews~? ; w ; Please tell me that my writing has improved (or, if it hasn't, still tell me)? ; w ; As for this, I followed the idea that season two of Kuroshitsuji never happened. Sebastian ate Ciel's soul and has since moved on to many others since then. But he finds Lelouch's soul just as appealing as Ciel's had been. Unfortunately, he had already made a contract with Lelouch's mother, Marianne, and can therefore not enter into another until that one can be completed (as per Marianne's order). Also, there is the matter of Lelouch's contract with C.C. to deal with. I ran with the idea that Sebastian couldn't eat another immortal's soul and if Lelouch completes his contract with C.C., BAM. He gets her Code and Sebastian doesn't want this to happen for obvious reasons. Also, yes. I enjoyed all the homolust Sebastian was throwing at Lelouch and Suzaku (though the part with Suzaku was toned down heavily). It amused me. And no. This plot bunny is mines. You no has. So, leave it alone, mann. By the way, that Japanese text was Sebastian's catch phrase. It being a pun in all and Suzaku being Japanese, he would understand the double meaning more.


	9. Adventures in the Realm of Reapers I

I would like everyone who reviewed last chapter. I'd list the names like I used to do, but I noticed I forgot to do that the chapter before last so I'll simply say an overall thanks to everyone and will start listing names next chapter~.

Serena: Because more was asked for and this idea was far too amusing for me to _not_ write up and share.

Warnings: AU. Lelouch in his toddler years, kidnapping, and an overall silly adventure with Kuro's grim reapers.

Summary: When Lelouch was two, a pair of would-be assassins stole him right out of his mother's arms. One ultimately planned on killing the child, but the other was a barren woman with a love for children. Little Lelouch's life was spared only for him to wind up in the care of a strikingly red, gender-confused reaper. / But he _did_ smile.

-X-X-X-X

Title: There's a Muffin In My Soup

Code 9: Adventures in the Realm of Reapers Part I

Theme: What if I continued the Kuroshitsuji crossover and did a little flashback piece at the same time?

By: Serena the Hikari of Love

-X-X-X-X-

"Sebastian, I do believe that Lelouch is trying to gain your attention." a feminine voice stated in utter amusement.

Marianne vi Britannia (one of Charles zi Britannia's more recent mistresses) sent the dark butler seated across from her a smile filled with mirth. The bundle of babbling baby squirming in Marianne's lap waved his arms out (his tiny hands grasping at air desperately) at Sebastian in an attempt to reach the tall man.

"Sebby!" Lelouch exclaimed, a delighted smile was lighting up his cheeks and his amethyst eyes glittered with childish innocence. "Up!"

The trio (Marianne, Lelouch, and their butler, Sebastian) all sat inside an old-fashioned, horse-drawn carriage. They were all dressed in elegant attire suitable for an evening of tea and cakes with a foreign acquaintance of Marianne's, who hailed from the beautiful island nation of Japan.

Marianne was dressed in flowing waves of blue silk and white lace. The bodice was folded back upon her chest and was secured in place by two brass buttons. The rather daring dress style was keep modest by a white blouse with laced trim at the edges.

Seated in a squirming heap upon Marianne's lap, Lelouch cared little for the wrinkles he was creating as he twisted and turned within his mother's grasp. His attire (while still fairly elegant for a child his age) consisted of simple dressings. A tiny, unbuttoned frock coat had been set over a simple dress shirt and silken, blue trousers along with simple black shoes covered his legs and feet. He had been color coordinated to match his mother's outfit colors of blue and white and the two made quite the adorable mother/son pair. At one point, the little princeling had been wearing his mother's blue-bowed hat for no other reason than he had liked it, but that had ended upon Lelouch's sudden insistence on been held by the duo's personal and most trusted butler, Sebastian Michaelis. Marianne didn't seem to mind the swirled patterns little Lelouch was creating within her dress skirts with his constant squirming, but she did attempt to smooth out the twisting wrinkles her son was creating in his own clothing. Sadly, her attempts ended in failure. Whenever she tried to run her hands over the annoying creases, Lelouch would squirm and make an impatient little noise.

The end result? More wrinkles were created.

As for Sebastian, he was wearing all black save for a lone, blue flower Marianne had pinned to the top hat he wore. He wore the usual, lavish servant garb he always wore along with a black frock coat to stave off the chill of the weather. Though, the weather itself probably would not have bothered him. It was more a matter of insistence from his dear master.

Marianne pulled her squirming baby boy to her chest to keep him from toppling over onto the carriage floor. She pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Lelouch's head and sighed contentedly.

"It's adorable how taken he is with you." Marianne commented as she began to run her long fingers through Lelouch's straight, black locks. "Children are so…innocent. I wonder if he will still be as taken with you when he grows."

Marianne held little Lelouch up so that his squirming legs stilled and he was standing upon his mother's dress-covered knees. The dotting mother settled her gaze back upon the butler and her smile turned mischievous.

"Care to humor your little fan by holding him?" she asked, her voice coated in amusement.

Sebastian allowed his lips to dip into a slight frown and he sent a noticeably displeased (though half-hearted) glare down at the still-squirming child.

"I regrettably have little to no experience in dealing with children his age." Sebastian informed both Marianne and her insistent child. "If he were older, perhaps."

Marianne noted that he did not sound 'regretful' in the least. If anything, Sebastian had said the word in something akin to relief.

"In any case, my Lady, do you trust your only child's safety in the hands of a demon?" the dark man continued and his lips turned at the corners to form a smirk. "I may serve you with all my being, but how can you be so certain that I _wouldn't_ harm him? I _am_ a demon in the end."

Marianne's eyes flashed for a brief second (worry, distrust, _fear_), but despite her lapse, she held true to the rumors that had surrounded her since her days as a knight and continued to smile in the face of death.

"Because you do not lie as humans do." she answered in the simplest of ways. "If I command it, Lelouch's safety is of no concern to me and I _have_ commanded it."

Sebastian bent his head in acknowledgment and his smirk only grew.

"Indeed. I exist to obey _you_, Your Majesty." he stated needlessly and he rose his head to stare down at Lelouch (who, while no longer struggling to reach Sebastian, was still gazing up at the butler with a hopeful expression).

"Ba?" Lelouch questioned, using one of his many, childish gibber words to try and coax the butler into hugging him.

That was all he wanted really. Just a little hug from his favorite person (other than his mother). Sebastian had an interesting aroma that was distinctively his own. It was…hard to describe and because Lelouch's vocabulary was so limited, he couldn't think of a name to give it. The closest he could come to naming the strange, otherworldly scent that clung to Sebastian was 'sweet' (and even that seemed highly inaccurate; perhaps 'spicy' was more accurate?). Regardless, it was so different from his mother's (who smelled of flowers and tea) and Lelouch was quite simply attracted to it.

Sebastian stared at the toddler as a silence stretched out between the three. After another moment (in which Lelouch was beginning to turn away dejectedly to snuggle his mother), Sebastian sighed in resignation and he held his hands out towards Lelouch.

"I suppose that was an order, my Lady?" he managed to ask and he smiled in something akin to defeat.

Marianne giggled and began to move her son over to the awaiting butler.

"Indeed." Marianne responded, her smile growing as Lelouch squealed delightedly. "It is now, at least."

Sebastian had every intention of taking Lelouch from his mother's grasp (as ordered), but just as his hands came into contact with the toddler's sides, the carriage lurched and the sound of frightened horse filled the air. Marianne clutched Lelouch to her chest tightly as the two were thrown back against the seat. Sebastian had to grab the carriage door's handle to keep from tumbling into Marianne's lap. (That would have been completely disgraceful.)

The carriage had stopped and no extra stops had been scheduled.

"Sebastian!"

Sebastian glanced up to see Marianne's hard gaze settled on him and he needed no further instructions from her as he nodded his head once before slipping out of the carriage to see to the disturbance. Outside, however, was nothing remarkable. It only caused the butler to sigh.

_Bandits_, he mused with mild annoyance, daring to shake his head at the daring duo who had forced the carriage's untimely stop. _Not very smart, are they?_

His mistress would be late for her appointed tea date, at this rate. Oh, how Sebastian despised lagging behind schedule! Whatever were these idiots thinking? They weren't even much to look at. They looked amateurish at best.

The first one (the one holding the carriage driver at gunpoint and, honestly, the old man would have a heart attack before the idiot bandit decided to fire) seemed to be the leader of the duo. He was a tall, lanky man of a not-so-very muscular build. The man's short hair was a dirty shade of light brown and his eyes were a decidedly unremarkable, dull shade of blue. He seemed worn and the gun he held in his hand was shaking just the slightest bit.

Sebastian had to smile at that.

_He doesn't have a plan_, the butler thought in amusement. _Rather, he seems to not have thought what plan he did have out very well._

As for the second part of the idiot duo, she looked so out of place it was almost comical. Her build was slender (unhealthily so). Her long, stringy hair was a dirty blonde and her wide, frightened eyes were a watery grey. She held no weapons of any kind (none that Sebastian could see, at any rate), but the look in her eyes held a type of desperation that only those with nothing left to lose had.

Sebastian's smile grew.

Both bandits' clothes were tattered, dull, and dirty. Both seemed equally capable of being nothing more than nuisances rather than threats to his master and her child and Sebastian was far too amused by this idiocy.

"Do you really intend to kill an old man?" Sebastian questioned, showing no real concern.

The woman's eyes widened even further and she stole a fearful glance between her partner and the carriage driver. The man holding the driver at gunpoint merely sneered.

"Aye've no intention ah killin' tha old git!" the man stated and, to his credit, he didn't sound half as scared as he might have looked. "My business is with tha inside o' that!"

The man gestured needlessly to the carriage with his shoulder. Sebastian's eyes narrowed.

"Is that so." Sebastian said and it wasn't a question. "Just what business do you have with my master, Mr. Bandit?"

The man smirked haughtily.

"Marianne vi Britannia 'as ah contact on 'er 'ead." he stated and his tattered, trench coat was thrown off in an instant to reveal a surprising arsenal of weaponry holstered to various parts of his body.

Knives were holstered to his legs, a machine gun had been strapped to his back, pistols and grenades (oh my, wasn't that overkill?) were hanging about his waist, and…hold on. Were those red sticks firecrackers?

Sebastian was, to say the least, momentarily stunned and the would-be bandit used that moment to pull the machine gun off his back.

He fired at Sebastian without warning.

-X-X-

The female of the bandit duo ran as fast as her thin legs would allow, holding the teary son of one Marianne vi Britannia to her chest tightly. She was frightened, but that wonderful sense of excitable adrenaline was coursing through her veins at her and her partner's accomplishment (though, their contractor would be displeased at their simultaneous failure).

Her partner gunned down the butler (who had been part of their to-kill contract) before motioning for her to go after Marianne herself while he walked over to the fallen servant and drilled a few more bullets into the butler's bloodied body to ensure the man's death. The female of the duo was ordered to drag Marianne out (to her execution, as per the contract), but…Marianne's child had been wailing and the female of the duo had hesitated upon seeing the bawling baby being held in his mother's protective embrace.

She, the one who was supposed to help murder Marianne, had not been informed that there was to be a young child.

Her hesitation wound up being a mistake that saved Marianne's life.

"We 'ave ta kill 'im." her partner remarked, huffing as he leaned against a tree for support after the two fugitives had gained a sizeable distance between the carriage and their current hiding place.

The startled gaze she sent him caused the man's eyes to narrow. The woman's grip on the still crying child tightened slightly.

"Tha contract, Arly…" the man said in a warning tone. "We're ta kill all 'cept that driver an' since we failed ta kill Marianne, we 'ave ta kill tha brat ta make up fer failing."

Arly frowned nervously and a hand curled into Lelouch's hair. She was rocking the weeping baby back and forth and back and forth to try and calm him down, but Lelouch only wanted his mother. This woman holding him smelled strange and the harsh way that man spoke was scaring the poor child even further.

"But he's so tiny, Reg." Arly said in a hesitant squeak and she couldn't resist the small smile that played across her lips as her eyes stole a glance at the frightened child shivering in her hold. "...just a baby…"

The child's shivering troubled her and she wondered briefly if Lelouch was cold. The child was wearing a jacket, but it _was_ rather chilly outside. (Arly realized, however, that most of the shivering could be her own fault. She was just so nervous…)

"Give 'im ta me, Arly!" Reg demanded and he actually had the nerve to pull a gun out at his partner. "Even wi' Marianne still alive, we'll still ge' our reward if we kill tha brat!"

Arly was momentarily startled to see her partner pointing a loaded gun at her, but the moment passed as soon as it came and her gaze hardened. A brief glance down at the teary child in her arms convinced her of what she had to do. The child's mother was still alive. Arly and Reg had failed, but despite this setback, bringing the corpse of Marianne's only child back to their contractor would offer them some form of payment (and they could always attempt Marianne's assassination again).

Arly could only nod in agreement with her thoughts and she admitted that Reg was right.

"Forgive me, Reg." Arly said in apology. "I wasn't thinking. Today has just been…disappointing."

Though he seemed wary, Reg nodded towards the woman in understanding.

"Aye. Been a rough day." He said, mirroring her wearied expression. "All tha more reason ta end this quickly."

Reg glanced down briefly to put away his weapon (in favor of using a more silent piece of sharp weaponry). When he raised his head to gaze at his partner and the stolen child, the only thing he could concentrate on was the hollowed nozzle of the gun being shoved into his face. Reg stilled.

"A-arly, wha—"

A crack of gunfire rang out and Reg dropped to the ground with a smoldering bullet hole going through his head.

Arly never felt guilty. Not even when she spied the look of betrayal frozen to her ex-partner's face. She just sighed and rocked Lelouch with arm as he cried even more at the noisy gunfire.

"Ah, just in time!" came a cheerful voice despite the gruesome air that had now settled around Arly and Lelouch. "Reginald Vanderbelt…let's see…oh, here he is!"

Looking up, Arly was startled to see a man decked out in elegant red attire standing just to the opposite side of Reg's bleeding corpse. The newcomer's long hair was a startling shade of bright red and his spectacle-covered eyes glowed with a frightening, golden light. The red man held an open book within his hands and was jotting something down onto its pages with a satisfied, razor-toothed smile stretching widely across his face. Arly's shaking hand unclenched and the gun dropped to the blooded grass surrounding her partner's still warm body. She had been caught mid-crime by a total stranger, but Arly felt no guilt for the murder. This innocent little child she held to her chest did not deserve death simply because he was the child of her target and Arly held a soft spot for children.

She, unfortunately, was barren. No matter how many times she tried and no matter who she slept with, a child was never given to her. She was simply incapable of becoming pregnant and it was a sad fact of life that had haunted her for over 15 years. She supposed, however, that this was just as well. Her calling (her skill) in life called for the deaths of people and no child deserved to be near something or someone who lived such a life.

"W-who are you?" Arly demanded and she took a step back to put some distance between the red man and herself.

The red man glanced up from his writing for a brief moment and hummed before returning to what he was doing. After finishing, he put the book away (where he put it, Arly had no clue) and made a motion at Reg with his hand.

"I'm here to collect the soul of Reginald Vanderbelt." he answered, his expression turning thoughtful as he continued to gaze at Arly. "Actually, I'm also due to collect…"

The man paused and glanced down to stare at Lelouch (who, while still teary-eyed and just as frightened) was no longer crying and was staring up at the red man with childish curiosity swimming within his amethyst gaze. Arly followed the red man's gaze and she instantly started shaking her head, her eyes widening with fright.

"You can't take this child!" she shouted hysterically, her protective embrace tightening as she took another step back. "He's just a baby and…and he's _mine_!"

The red man's eyebrows rose slightly at her shout and he giggled. Turning his attention away from the two for a moment, he reached behind his back and pulled a vicious-looking, red chainsaw from seemingly out of nowhere and brandished it over Reg's body dangerously.

"Who I collect is nothing for you to worry over." he stated and before Arly had a chance to blink, the chainsaw was dug into Reg's chest, releasing a flurry of film strips (each with various, moving pictures) into the air. "Besides, that child isn't dying today."

The red man took a moment to gaze thoughtfully at all the film strips. Arly could only stare in shocked silence, her knees wobbling as they threatened to collapse on her. She felt that she needed to run, but she was frozen in place. After a moment, the red man shook his head and hummed.

"Such a delightfully red life." he commented with an air of envy. "An evil, red life, sadly. Ah well. Off to the underworld with you, bad soul."

The red man yanked the chainsaw out of Reg's chest and the steady stream of film strips vanished. Reg seemed even more lifeless than he had previously.

"Now, I just have one more soul to collect for the day…" he muttered to the air and his golden eyes instantly trapped Arly's grey ones in a terrifying gaze. "Arianna Dreadlock, aged 34. Freelance assassin. Dies from heart failure in the countryside of Britannia's mainland after a botched assassination attempt on October 11th, 2001 at 2:43 p.m."

Arly gasped at the seemingly memorized bit of information the red man recited and she took another staggering step away from the red monster. She felt as if all the air had been knocked out of her lungs and nothing she tried to say would leave her constricting throat.

"Now, now." the man chided, prepping his chainsaw again. "_Everyone_ dies."

Arly shook her head furiously and smoothed a hand through Lelouch's hair.

"Y-you m-monster." Arly managed to strangle out before dropping to her knees. "W-why me? Why n-now?"

She had a child now (stolen, though Lelouch was) and Arly was more than willing to leave her assassin life behind her to care for the stolen baby boy (a fact she had made perfectly clear when she had murdered her assassin partner).

The red man frowned and his eyes shined in annoyance.

"That is no way to address a lady!" he…er, _she_ exclaimed rather defensively, his/her arms crossing. "I am _not_ a monster, but a _beautiful_ flower!"

The red man struck silly pose with his hand and smiled charmingly.

"I am Grelle Sutcliff!" he exclaimed. "And I'm a beauty to _die_ for!"

The seconds ticked by and Arly said nothing in response to the gender-confused man's proclamation. Lelouch, on the other hand, was giggling sweetly at Grelle's silly pose. The small child seemed to have forgotten all about the bloody mess surrounding them.

Grelle blinked down at the giggling child and smiled.

"Well, this little cutie has good tastes." Grelle stated and the hand he was posing with moved back down to grip his chainsaw. "Clearly he does not belong to you, though. There's hardly any family resemblance."

Arly couldn't find it in her to argue that point. Lelouch _wasn't_ hers. He belonged to Marianne vi Britannia, but Arly had taken the poor child away in a last ditch effort to please her contractor.

"But it doesn't really matter now." Grelle continued and he brandished his chainsaw at Arly. "I can see you like him, but do the child a favor and set him down so he doesn't get hurt. It's almost time."

Arly, though still fearful, let a sort of resignation seep into her gaze and she gaze Lelouch one last glance before setting the child down upon the ground (away from the gory mess of her partner's corpse).

Arly had done many, _many_ bad things throughout her life and she had always known that, one day, the time would come for her to pay her dues and reap what she had sown (never mind that the only reaping was being done by an actual reaper). At the least, Arly could say that she did one good thing in her life and that was sparing the life of little Lelouch.

The clock ticked and 2:43 struck.

Arly felt her chest tighten and a horrible pain explode within her chest, making her clutch at her heart and gasp for air.

Her family had always had heart problems and Arly knew she had inherited them. Her assassin lifestyle did nothing but make these problems worse, but she couldn't stop. Killing was all she knew (all she could do) and as she staggered back and fell into a crumpled heap upon the ground, she didn't feel much (if any) regret.

A moment passed and the chainsaw was thrust into Arly's chest. Her memories exploded out of her chest in an instant, spiraling up and up above her stricken body in rotating waves. Lelouch's head tilted upward as he watched the film strips in awe.

"Paper?" Lelouch prompted, waving a tiny hand at the floating strips.

Grelle giggled at the child's innocence and shook his head lightly.

"Film." Grelle corrected and he returned his attention to the film strips flying overhead. "They're records of her memories. We call them Cinematic Records. They allow my kind to be able to decide whether the person is allowed to live or die."

Lelouch made small noise in something akin to understanding and then he quietly watched as Grelle reviewed Arly's Cinematic Records. After a few moments, Grelle's expression grew somber and he frowned momentarily because _this_ complicated things. He didn't know where to send the woman. He sighed.

"Judging by her records, she isn't necessarily 'bad', but…ah, so many lives destroyed because of her." Grelle stated, half speaking with himself and half speaking to Lelouch. "This is for God and His angels to decide. It's out of my hands, dear. Off with you."

His decision made, Grelle wrenched the chainsaw from out of Arly's chest and her body finally settled onto the ground lifelessly, her blood joining her partner's in the grass as her cinematic records vanished. Little Lelouch watched all this with mild concern and fright. He didn't mind Grelle's vibrant, red appearance, but Arly's and Reg's blood splattered bodies were unnerving. Neither were moving and Lelouch felt very much alone despite Grelle's presence. He really wanted his mother (or Sebastian since the butler would lead him back safely to his mother…plus, Lelouch had never received Sebastian's hug).

Lelouch's attention returned to reaper's when he felt himself being lifted off the cold ground and, the next thing he knew, Grelle had Lelouch trapped within a tight hug.

"Kyaa! You're just so adorable!" Grelle exclaimed as he squeezed the poor toddler affectionately. "_Oh_, it was _so_ hard not to snatch you up earlier, but alas! I had my duties to attend to."

Grelle pulled the toddler back enough so that Lelouch could look up at him and another squeal left the red-haired reaper when Lelouch made an unintelligible noise at him.

"You're simply _the_ most adorable baby I've ever seen! Haaa, I wish I could have a child of my own!" Grelle sighed enviously and a gloved hand was petting Lelouch's hair in an instant. "He would be as adorable as you and I could dress him up and show him off to everyone and! …and…"

Grelle's excitement deflated as he stared down at the small child in his arms.

"…and I can't have children because I'm a man." Grelle finished with a sigh. "A woman's body is a thing of beauty…so lucky."

Lelouch gazed up at the reaper in concern. Grelle seemed upset about something and this, in turn, caused Lelouch to feel upset. Lelouch rather liked this strange man (who smelled of iron and perfume) and the little toddler didn't want to see his new friend sad. Unfortunately, Lelouch's vocabulary was not full enough for he to comfort Grelle and Lelouch did not completely understand the reason for the reaper's sadness to begin with. From what he could understand, Grelle was upset because he didn't have a child due to he not being a woman (though he was certainly pretty enough to be one and why exactly was being a woman a requirement to having a child?). Lelouch simply _had_ to help in some way, though. So, he said the only thing he could think of saying and hoped that it would sooth the man.

"Pretty!" Lelouch exclaimed and he made sure to smile as nicely as he could.

Grelle paused in his longing stare (why couldn't he have just been born a woman?) to blink in surprise at the little child's proclamation.

But he _did_ smile.

"Kyaa! You're too sweet!" Grelle said in a swooning sigh and poor Lelouch found himself being squeezed yet again. "So young, but you already know a lady when you see one!"

Lelouch giggled. He was happy that Grelle didn't sound sad anymore. That was an accomplishment (even if all Lelouch did was take Grelle's mind off of his worries).

Grelle sighed in contentment. He yearned to have a child of his own simply to experience moments like these, but alas. His body was male despite his mind being feminine. Lelouch's mother was lucky to have such a sweet bundle of precious baby as her son. Speaking of which…

"Where is your mother, I wonder?" Grelle questioned the little boy and at the child's saddened expression, he added: "Ah. I see. You were stolen, weren't you? That means…"

In truth, there were multiple possibilities (though, the likeliest seemed obvious to Grelle). The first possibility was that Lelouch's mother was dead, having been murdered by the two assassins before her baby boy was stolen away from her. The other (and most likely) possibility was simple in that Lelouch's mother was alive and well, but was far away (and little Lelouch being so terrified at the time wouldn't have bothered memorizing the path his kidnappers took). Still, knowing whether Lelouch's mother was alive or dead helped the two little. At best, Lelouch was nothing more than a lost child now (the worst seeing him as an orphan, but Grelle doubted the child's mother's death; she would have been on his list and very few woman had died today with neither of them being mothers).

Staring down at the poor child, Grelle felt conflicted. It was against the rules to bring humans (much less young children) into the realm of the grim reapers, but seeing as the human in question was quite young (and would likely not remember anything later on in his life), Grelle supposed that he could manage to get away with it and was he _seriously_ considering doing what he thought he was thinking about doing?

"Pretty!" Lelouch complimented yet again and when Grelle's returned to himself, he returned his attention to Lelouch to see the child playing with a few strands of his long, red hair.

The funny thing about children was that they had short attention spans and Grelle found it simply endearing. And with that repeated compliment of Lelouch's, the red reaper had made up his mind. He wiggled a finger against Lelouch's belly and cooed at the child sweetly.

"You're coming home with me, cutie~."

Sebastian would later curse his ill luck upon discovering the two bodies of both the assassins and finding no trace of little Lelouch in sight.

-X-X-X-X-

Serena: Before I get questions concerning Grelle's "kidnapping" of Lelouch, this is actually not completely farfetched. In the manga, Grelle expressed a desire to have a child, but because he had the body of a man, he could not. This was why he joined forces with Madam Red to begin with: because he understood her pain of not being able to have a child. So, I can see Grelle taking Lelouch. ANYWAY, care to leave me a little review~? Shall I continue with this? Mama Grelle would appreciate your opinions on his stance as Lelouch's temporary mother~. 8D (is shot)


	10. Twenty Fucking Points

I would like to thank the following people for reviewing: cool-girl027, NighmareIris, Ookami Fuu, lilyrose225, shiai10, .not., HisaAngel, Lovegranted, TheRedLamp, Altair718, and Sa'Kage!

Serena: …I can't remember if I replied to everyone's reviews or not. (stresses over it) I'm sorry if I didn't reply to you! I'm quite forgetful and I'd hate to spam anyone's Inbox with repeats. ; w ; And yes , yes. I know this isn't the Kuro continuance, but I'm having issues with Will's character (if you haven't watched or read Kuroshitsuji, you probably won't know who I'm talking about). I don't really know his character all that well. So I'm a bit bothered by my writing for him. Grelle I'm fine with and I'm surprisingly content with Undertaker, but Will and some of the other reapers, not so much. I'll get it worked out eventually, though. In the meantime, have another cracky crossover~.

Warnings: AU (no really). Crossover with Harry Potter (no, you read that right and no one fuss. :I). SuzaLulu. No plot whatsoever. Lol I don't even know what this is exactly.

Summary: Lelouch decided that he would _never_ make another potion for Suzaku _ever_ again. / "_Good girl_, Mittens."

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass nor do I own Harry Potter.

-X-X-X-X-

Title: There's A Muffin In My Soup

Code 10: Twenty. Fucking. Points.

Theme: What if I did a crossover with Harry Potter?

By: Serena the Hikari of Love

-X-X-X-X-

There was a soft knocking (a sound of flesh and bone against brick) echoing, echoing throughout the stone-coated classroom. Lelouch, having been thoroughly engaged in an extensive mental calculation of grading (_oh_, Longbottom…the child _might_ benefit from remedial lessons should Lelouch feel brave enough to attempt them with such an accident-prone child), made a small, disgruntled noise in the back of his throat as all the calculations floating in his mind abruptly disappeared in a haze of metaphorical smoke. He greatly disliked being interrupted while engrossed in his work and the withering glare he sent the unwanted door-knocker would (and _should_) have melted their skin and bones into ash (if he were capable of such a magical ability). As such, the intruder kept his bones and flesh (much to Lelouch's chagrin) and dared to enter without bothering to wait for a formal invitation.

"Sorry to interrupt, but do you have a moment?" the visitor asked.

It took Lelouch a bit longer than it should have to realize exactly who it was that had entered without his permission, but once the visitor's visage fully registered within his mind, his glare dissolved into mild annoyance tinted with flecks of affection. The visitor merely smiled brightly at the noticeable change in his demeanor.

"I suppose I could spare a moment or two of my time, but what brings you all the way to my cozy little dungeons?" Lelouch asked and his lips relaxed into a small smile. "It's a bit out of the way considering _your_ classroom is upstairs, Suzaku."

Suzaku (with those jade irises swirling in mirth as per usual) smiled ever so gently at Lelouch. Suzaku approached the young professor's desk, his teaching robes swaying gently with the movements of his hips.

"I was just in the neighborhood." he answered with a short shrug. "and I thou—oh, don't give me _that_ look."

Lelouch chuckled as he set the quill he had previously been using aside and reached inside a pocket of his robes to pull out his trusty wand.

"Just in the neighborhood, you say?" Lelouch repeated in amusement. "Somehow I find that hard to believe."

With a short flick of his wrist, Lelouch sent the various clutter of papers littering his desk flying across the room where they settled into an awaiting, open drawer. Upon entering said drawer, Lelouch flicked his wand again and the drawer slid shut and promptly locked itself.

"Our classrooms are so far apart. Do you even realize how many passageways and flights of stairs it takes to even be 'in the neighborhood'?" Lelouch continued whilst setting his wand back into its holding place. "Clearly this was deliberate on your part."

Suzaku pursed his lips and his eyes began to shine with the telltale signs of a pout (much to Lelouch's increasing amusement).

"…you know, one of these days, it won't be deliberate and you'll be sitting there without a snarky comment to throw at me." Suzaku responded and he huffed as Lelouch chuckled at the indirect admittance. "I mean, _really_. Can't one friend just come and see another _without_ needing a reason?"

Lelouch sighed and shook his head slightly.

"Well, I suppose, but the fact remains that you purposely came down here to see me." the ebony-haired professor replied and he leaned back in his chair with his hands folded across his lap. "One of these days, the students will catch on that our relationship is less professional that we lead them to believe."

Suzaku quirked up an eyebrow at Lelouch's unspoken concern.

"Would it be so awful if they did know?" the brunet asked and before Lelouch really had a chance to complain, Suzaku seated himself atop a clear spot on Lelouch's desk. "They spend too much time house-hating each other. I don't know…maybe we could set an example?"

"I shouldn't even have to explain. You already know what they would say. Why are you so insistent on this?" Lelouch questioned. He sent Suzaku a slightly narrowed glare at the brunet's choice of seating arrangements, but he said nothing about it. "The Heads of Gryffindor and Slytherin being _loving_ with one another? Suzaku, you know how much bad history our houses have. It doesn't matter that the dark wizard the text books speak of is gone. Bad history is still bad history and humans like to remember old grudges _years_ after they no longer exist."

Suzaku had to frown at that. He understood what Lelouch was saying (and Suzaku couldn't count the number of times he had had his own difficulties with little Slytherin students; professor or no, he was still a Gryffindor, after all), but shouldn't that give them more incentive to try and fix what the dark wizard had helped destroy? There would always be prejudice in the world (Suzaku wasn't so naïve as to believe that it could be completely washed away), but if they tried, couldn't they accomplish something? Together, he and Lelouch could do anything, after all.

"So? We were friends long before coming here." the brunet argued and he crossed his arms stubbornly. "I don't see why our interactions should change just because we ended up in different houses. I like to think that we would be setting a good example for them. I already do it. Why can't you?"

"…and your idea of 'setting a good example' for our dear students is to have _your_ first year Gryffindors ambush me with hugs?" Lelouch questioned in monotone annoyance. "It took _ages_ to get the girls off me. I'm just fortunate that Headmaster McGonagall took pity on me unlike _someone_ I know."

The corners of Suzaku's lips twitched at the memory, but he did well to keep his snickers to himself.

"I was making sure they understood that you _weren't_ a vicious hell cat." he defended and at the angered, almost-pout from Lelouch he added: "Rumors get around, Lulu. You wouldn't _believe_ what I overheard two third years saying about me the other day."

Lelouch continued to look unconvinced.

"…and I suppose this also excuses you telling those very same first years that I was a 'pretty marshmallow who wouldn't hurt a fly'?"

Suzaku snorted and bit the inside of his cheek to hold back the bubbling laugh that was demanding to be let out. Lelouch's eyes merely narrowed at this.

"I…I told them you were pretty. It's a compliment." Suzaku managed to say and a hand shot to his mouth to hide his growing grin.

"Get out." Lelouch demanded and his cheeks were aflame in embarrassment as he gestured at the door agitatedly. "Get out before I hex you. I have grading I've yet to finish, classes I've yet to plan, and if you don't _stop_ that snickering, Kururugi!"

Suzaku held up his hands in surrender (though he continued to openly chuckle). Lelouch huffed at this and rose from his desk to stalk across the room, heading towards the locked drawer he had sent his papers to moments before. He was irritated and therefore needed a distraction that didn't involve Suzaku near him. So he chose to retrieve his papers by hand and ignore the giggling idiot behind him.

"You know where the door is." the raven-haired professor stated in a clipped tone.

Honestly! Coming all the way down here just to tease him…

He heard footsteps behind him, but wrongly assumed that Suzaku had (for once) heeded his warnings and left him be. As his arm stretched out to grab the drawer's handle, a tanned, calloused hand encircled his wrist and another snaked its way around his waist.

"Oh but, Lulu, you really _are_ a pretty marshmallow. It really was a compliment." Suzaku stated and Lelouch could hear the smile in his voice.

Lelouch closed his violet eyes and sighed wearily.

"…that girly nickname does not help things, Suzaku." Lelouch said, but he made no move to remove Suzaku's hands. "I can't have my students believing that I'm someone they can order around."

He felt Suzaku shrug and the hand around his wrist disappeared only to join the one wrapped around his waist.

"Can I call you 'Lu' then?" the brunet persisted and he dared to _snuggle_ the trapped potion's master. "Caaaan I, Can I~? Oh, pleeeeeease~?"

Lelouch's left eye twitched and he growled slightly.

"_Suzaku_."

That commanding tone was not one to be ignored. When Professor Lamperouge gave an order, he _expected_ it to be followed through _without_ question. His students and even some of the other teachers knew better than to cross the man during such times.

Suzaku blinked and pursed his lips for a moment before they widened into a mischievous grin. He craned his neck so that his lips were dangerously close to Lelouch's ear and _purred_ (an action that startled Lelouch). Unfortunately for the poor Slytherin Head, Suzaku Kururugi (the obnoxiously idiotic Head of Gryffindor), prided himself in bringing out sides of Lelouch that otherwise never appeared. In short, the idiot didn't listen despite his persistent claims of being Lelouch's 'knight' (something no one else really understood, save for Lelouch himself).

"I just stopped by to thank you for the potion you gave me the other day." Suzaku purred out, completely changing the subject. "It works wonders for…well, you know."

He chuckled sheepishly and an embarrassing dust of pink coated his cheeks in the process.

"But remember when you told me about the dosage?" the purring professor continued and he deigned to snuggle Lelouch more (his hands were becoming a little too grabby, in the process). "I _might_ have taken a little too much and have I ever told you how _good_ you smell? _Mreow~_"

Lelouch's cheeks flushed as Suzaku's hands wandered and he clamped his own hands around Suzaku's wrists before they could twist themselves any further into Lelouch's robes.

"S-Suzaku."

This behavior didn't bod well. Suzaku's purring, _mewling_, and that_ bloody snuggling_! Suzaku couldn't have…? Although it wouldn't necessarily explain the snuggling (Suzaku could be quite clingy when he felt the need to be), it _would_ certainly explain how Suzaku was suddenly able to purr in _perfect_ mimicry of a feline and Lelouch couldn't help but wonder...

"…how much did you drink?" Lelouch prompted and his cheeks continued to burn as his neck was nuzzled. He kept trying to still Suzaku's wandering hands, but _damn_ Suzaku's strength and persistent _fondling_!

Suzaku just purred and nuzzled at Lelouch's neck more (he even dared to _lick_ at it). Lelouch shivered.

"Enough~" Suzaku answered without really answering.

"That's not an-_ahh_!"

Lelouch was just short of letting loose a girly shriek when Suzaku brushed his chapped lips against a sensitive spot on his neck. He swatted at the brunet's head and struggled more.

"_Suzaku!_" Lelouch shrieked (and it was most certainly _not_ a girly one). "_Cut it out!_"

The professor in question only found the situation amusing and started to chuckle.

"_Awww_, but I just want to—_oww!_"

Suzaku abruptly released his captive and winced as he hissed in pain. Lelouch wasted no time in putting a bit of distance between he and Suzaku, but the Potion's master paused in his retreat as he glanced down and discovered the reason behind Suzaku's sudden pain.

It was a little kitten.

Lelouch just hmphed as he crossed his arms. He made no move to help Suzaku and allowed the creature biting at Suzaku's ankle to continue on with its attack.

"_Good girl_, Mittens." Lelouch said in encouragement to the little feline and he merely smiled when Suzaku glanced up at him incredulously.

"So you're actually _for_ her being aggressive now?" Suzaku managed to ask before another series of "ow ow ow!"'s tumbled out of his mouth.

Lelouch shrugged.

"She's only protecting her master." the dark-haired man answered and his smile widened into a decidedly evil smirk. "Who am I to teach her otherwise~?"

"Oh, you evil son of a bi—_ow ow ow! Mittens, _let_ go! _I didn't mean it! I take it back!_ Ouch!_"

The kitten in question—Mittens—was Lelouch's familiar. She was a little, solid white Scottish Fold that had a rather large pair of bright green irises (in almost mimicry of Suzaku's shade). Her paws were big and floppy (which matched her stubby legs) and her fur was luxuriously soft. She was, in simple terms, _adorable_ and she and Lelouch got along _splendidly_.

Funnily enough, Lelouch had received the little kitten from _Suzaku_ one year as a gift.

Mittens finally released her hold on Suzaku's ankle so that she could turn briefly and mewl at Lelouch appreciatively. The little feline then faced Suzaku once more. She hissed at him and swiped a paw through the air in warning, her dangerously sharp claws drawn and ready for scratching. Her fluffy tail swished from side to side rather furiously and her behind wiggled in pre-pounce preparation.

Suzaku (who was relieved to have no more teeth sinking into his ankle) quite naturally backed up and kept his distance from the angered little kitten. The brunet _never_ had the greatest luck with creatures of the feline variety. For whatever reason, the fluffy little creatures all seemed to take pleasure in biting or scratching the poor brunet for as long as anyone could remember.

Lelouch, being gifted with potion's as he was, one day decided to help Suzaku solve this problem and he created a potion that would make Suzaku more likable to felines. It was the least he could for his best friend. After all, the po-and then Lelouch suddenly realized the problem at hand and his expression began to trickle into astonishment as his eyes began to narrow with an accusatory shine.

"…she doesn't like you." he stated and the longer he stared at Suzaku, the more his eyes began to narrow. "Mittens…_doesn't_ like you."

Suzaku blinked at that, but then it dawned on him what Lelouch was getting at and he found that he could only offer Lelouch a sheepish smile and helpless shrug of his shoulders.

"Ahhh…I _actually_ came to tell you that Peeves stole it from me." Suzaku admitted and, for whatever reason, Lelouch started to blush. "I never got around to actually drinking it and…well, you were being _so_ grumpy that I thought: why not?"

"_Y-You_!" Lelouch stuttered out and his blush was rapidly growing. "_You_…you _tricked_ me! You never-!"

Lelouch forced his gaze downward as he tried to quell his still growing blush. To think that Suzaku had tricked him like this was…and for what reason?

"I didn't mean anything by it!" Suzaku defended and he held his hands up in surrender once. "I'm sorry I tricked you, but…you're _really_ cute flustered."

That statement did nothing but encourage Lelouch's blush to darken and he tried to come up with a response to that, but Suzaku was suddenly beside him (with the most annoyingly idiotic grin!). Somehow, he had managed to sneak past Mittens (who, while no longer hissing or clawing at the air) was still in a wiggling stance that said: "I will pounce you if you come near me or my master!" and, if Suzaku didn't hurry up, _she would attack_. So he wasted no more time than he had to.

_Chu!_

Lelouch was momentarily stunned by the quick peck Suzaku planted on his cheek, but at the accompanying laughter he heard, Lelouch bristled.

"_You-!_"

But Suzaku was already running towards the door, his mirth filled laughter filling the dungeon air.

And all the poor Potions master could manage to scream out—in a strangled, utterly embarrassed squeak—to the professor's rapidly retreating back (and the bastard didn't even _try_ attempting to hide the delighted spring in his step) was: "T-twenty points from Gryffindor, Kururugi! D-do you hear me! _Twenty, you bastard_!"

-X-X-X-X-

Serena: The timeline is a little iffy on this. I wrote it with the intention of it being years after the events in the Deathly Hallows, but it can be taken however you want it to be taken, I guess. xD And no. This won't be continued. I have no more ideas for it. But if _you_ do and want to write something using this, it's yours free of charge (but with a required credit…lol fine print).


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